FATHER FIGURE

MADE TO BOND WITH YOUR BABY

a newborn. Society doesn’t exactly present young men with many opportunities to become familiar with babies.

This appears to be society’s oversight, not evolution’s. There’s one school of thought that suggests that human babies are all born three months too early. Other mammals’ offspring are able to move semi-independently shortly after birth with minimal attention from their mothers, but due to the singularly rapid growth in the human foetus’ brain and head, another three months in utero would make successful delivery impossible. Hence the term “fourth trimester” – a time when the helpless newborn needs 24/7 attention. Think of it as an evolutionary heads-up: dads, you are needed here, and by the way, your bodies are designed for this. Bonding isn’t something that your baby just does with her mother. Research suggests that macho testosterone levels in new dads drop significantly, while the “hug hormones” prolactin, cortisol and oxytocin rise. Cuddling and playing with your baby stimulates beta endorphins, which govern pleasure. To put it simply, the earlier you interact with baby, the happier you will feel, the more you will want to play, and the stronger your bonding will be.

Clinical psychologist Hlengiwe Zwane says that dads are often relegated to being the playful parent, but that the concept of play serves an important emotional and physical developmental role. “If this process of attunement – understanding the baby’s needs, emotions and temperament – happens early on, it helps dads understand their children better. The earlier this happens the greater the developmental impact, and the ramifications for later life. The child develops a secure attachment which will assist in how they interpret the world and how they relate with others in their lives,” he says.

Thula Baby Clinic owner and midwife Heather Wood says dads who feel connected to their babies will spend more time, resources and effort on their children. “We keep coming back when we feel connected and needed. The more time spent with his baby early on, the better the dad becomes at reading and settling his child.”