BLENDED LOVE

Young mom Phophi Phakathi writes a let­ter from the heart to the daugh­ter who grew in her heart

Your Baby & Toddler - - Babies Of The Heart -

Dear Siphokazi,

My dear­est baby girl, from the first day I met you, you put a smile on my face. I knew right from the be­gin­ning that I was blessed. I had fallen in love with one per­son and re­ceived two, who loved me back just as much. I have watched you grow into such a bright and beau­ti­ful young girl.

The re­spect and love you have for me is im­mense – I don’t think any­one in my shoes would have felt any dif­fer­ently. You make it so easy to love and adore you; and oh-so-hard not to miss when you are not around.

To be hon­est, I had some real fears about be­com­ing an in­stant mom when I mar­ried your dad. Luck­ily for me, you were too young to see my par­ent­ing mis­takes... I re­mem­ber your dad hav­ing to teach me how to dis­ci­pline you be­cause, truth be told, I had no idea how to han­dle you when you were be­ing naughty. Of course you took ad­van­tage of the fact that I didn’t know how to dis­ci­pline you! Be­ing the clever lit­tle girl that you are, when Daddy would say “no,” you would come try your luck with me, know­ing full well that I couldn’t say no to you! I even­tu­ally re­alised that I would have to stand up to that cute lit­tle face and know when to put my foot down. When I look back I see that it was re­ally about fear­ing that you would dis­like me if I dis­ci­plined you. You know, there are lessons for me on ev­ery part of our jour­ney. So when I learnt that I do it be­cause I love you, be­cause I want you to know bet­ter and to know the dif­fer­ence between right and wrong, I was able to step up and do bet­ter for you. It took a re­ally long time, but I even­tu­ally learnt how to be your mom and par­ent you as I should. For­tu­nately for me, our mother/daugh­ter bond was so strong you didn’t even notice the change. Spho, I truly be­lieve that you pre­pared me to be an even bet­ter mom to your sis­ter. When she ar­rived, I hardly felt like I was a new ar­rival to these moth­er­hood streets. I re­mem­ber the day I went to the hospi­tal to give birth. You gave me a lit­tle note that you had writ­ten to your new baby sis­ter, wel­com­ing her into the world and our fam­ily. While we all fell in love with your lit­tle sis­ter when she was born, it was clear that her ad­di­tion to the our fam­ily just rocked your world! You took on the role of big sis­ter so well. I doubt there is a big sis­ter who is more car­ing, not to men­tion ex­tremely over­pro­tec­tive! Mu­dodzwa is so blessed to have you as an older sis­ter. I look at you two play to­gether and I feel so proud, so blessed.

My par­ents and sib­lings warmed up to you so nat­u­rally, I think your con­ta­gious gig­gle and your tight hugs were enough to im­me­di­ately wrap them around your lit­tle fin­ger. I pray ev­ery day for you, for our fam­ily, that our re­la­tion­ship will never change, that as we both get older it will only get stronger.

My prayer is for you to grow up to be a beau­ti­ful, suc­cess­ful, God-fear­ing young lady. Your dad and I also pray for you girls to­gether – for our beau­ti­ful blended fam­ily to keep lov­ing each other they way that we do. I will al­ways love you; I can’t imag­ine my life without you, my princess.

Lots of love, Mama

Phophi Phakathi with her blended fam­ily – Sydney, Siphokazi and baby Mu­dodzwa.

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