Bedwetting blues

A child that is still wetting her bed in grade R or even older can just about break your spirit. You feel guilty and your child feels shy and embarrassed. Before long it becomes the big secret that nobody in the family talks about, writes Sonja Louw

MORE CHILDREN WET their beds than we realise. Even more children are still incontinent of urine in their beds after their sixth birthday. It’s heartbreaking for a parent when an upset child comes into your room and wakes you up to tell you that they wet their bed.

Another night, another wet bed and sometimes even more than one “oops” happens during the night.

Any parent with a bedwetter knows that this scenario has the ability to awaken a whole range of emotions. On the one hand you resent the fact that you will have to do more washing and lose out on another good night’s sleep, while on the other hand you want to reassure her because you can see it has a negative effect on her self-confidence.

For some of us we recall our own childhood experiences and how horrible it was waking up in a wet bed. If you are reading this article, chances are that you wet your bed as a child.

For the majority of children over five years old who are still wetting their beds the problem is hereditary. Either one or both parents struggled with the same problem.

The first thing you need to know is that you and your child are not alone. Bedwetting is more common than you think. One out of every five five-yearolds struggles with bedwetting.

The medical term for bedwetting is nocturnal enuresis. It refers to the unintentional passage of urine during sleep. Usually the problem is treated between five and eight years of age, but there are things you can do to help your child solve this problem.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Janneke Vermaak, an educational psychologist in Somerset West, says one should not automatically assume that the cause of the problem is psychological. It could be physiological or something that is easily fixed.

Make sure your child goes to bed with an empty bladder at night. Avoid food or drinks that contain caffeine (tea, coffee, cola or chocolate) before bedtime. Try to curb her fluid intake an hour before bedtime. Remember this will only work provided that they had enough water and other fluids during the day.

Lastly, ask yourself if your child can access the toilet easily at night. The solution to the problem could be more obvious than you think. Leave a night light switched on on the way to the bathroom at night or put a kiddies’ toilet seat on the toilet. Leave the bathroom door open during the night too.

If your child sleeps on the top bunk it might be necessary to find a different sleeping space. The golden rule is not to shout at her or to get angry. Be patient (many children outgrow the problem) and sensitive (a wet bed weighs heavily on a child’s self-confidence). Children who are old enough can help change the bedding or change into clean pyjamas. This should not be seen as a form of punishment.

THE CAUSE IS SELDOM PSYCHOLOGICAL

Dr Gawie Bruwer, a urologist at the Durbanville Medi-clinic, says parents are too quick to believe that the problem is psychological. If it is not a new problem, chances are slim that the cause is psychological, says Dr Bruwer.

Psychological problems are more prevalent in children who were dry for a while and who suddenly developed enuresis later on. Dr Bruwer says it is important to remember that bedwetting is hereditary. If one parent struggled with bedwetting as a child there is a 50% chance that their child will follow suit. In the case of both parents, the odds are a whopping 80%.

Console your child. “Mom wet her bed until the age of ten,” or, “It happened to Dad as well when he was little” are comforting words you can use.

Nocturnal enuresis is linked to normal bladder functioning, says Dr Bruwer. “Girls normally learn how to control their bladder before boys do, but every child develops this ability at night, and after they have learnt to control urine and stool during the day. Do not wait too long before you seek help. Nip the problem in the bud before your child turns 12.”