By the clock

Routines make for happy babies (and sane parents). Sr Ann Richardson tells you how to get it right

AS A NEW parent, every conscious thought seems to be totally ruled by this tiny bundle who has entered your life. You may be feeling anxious about establishing a “routine” as soon as possible but the reality is that days that fly by (and nights that don’t) in a blur of feeding, burping and nappies have become a way of life.

Your baby is dependent on you for nutrition and nurturing, but she needs you to help her make sense of, and manage, her sensory environment in order for her own unique rhythm to develop. It is out of this rhythm that a routine will develop without any conscious effort on your part.

In the early days many babies have difficulty dealing with the world outside the womb, and can easily become overstimulated, which may result in fussy feeding and general unsettledness. Wouldn’t caring for your baby be so much easier if you understood how she experiences the world?

Your baby needs you to watch for signs of overstimulation, tiredness and fussing and to calm her environment for her. A little stimulation and lot of calming is essential in the first few months of your baby’s life, so work with your baby’s rhythm for the first few weeks, bearing in mind that her “awake” time (including feeds) will determine when she needs her next sleep.

Some babies are very easygoing and settle into their sleep, wake, play, cry cycles quickly and easily, while others are not as self-regulated and need longer to settle into their own rhythm. Some babies need less sleep than others, so let the general happiness of your baby guide you as to how long she can be awake for between sleep.

THE EARLY DAYS

In the first few weeks, babies generally feed on demand. Thereafter, the frequency of feeds may become less. You’ll be able to tell that your baby is drinking enough milk if is she has at least six wet nappies a day, is generally feeding two-to-four-hourly and is content and sleepy in between feeds. Your baby may experience a growth spurt around the four-week mark where she will be extra fussy and only settle when she is fed. This is quite normal, and should settle within 24 to 48 hours if you simply feed her more regularly. At around six weeks, you will start to see a rhythm to your baby’s feeding pattern, where she may be feeding every three to four hours during the day, with one longer stretch at night. This night stretch will gradually extend.

FROM SIX WEEKS By six weeks, all the hard work and lack of sleep seem worthwhile as your baby begins to reward your efforts with social interaction.

By now she is starting to show a kind of pattern to her sleep and feeds. Without even consciously trying, you know when she is awake and happy, when she is hungry and what her sleepy, grumpy and crying times are, and guess what? She has a routine!

This is the time to begin to instil a basic, but flexible framework or structure to your day, working with what you already know.

Feeding should be established by now, so make a point of separating calories from comfort. Rather than providing comfort with feeding, soothe your little one by encouraging non-nutritive sucking with a dummy or her fingers. Gentle movement will also help to calm her, so go for a walk with her in a baby carrier or put her in her pram. Rocking, swaying, cuddling and bouncing on a ball will also help to calm her.

Your baby will be feeding every three to four hours during the day. One of the night’s feeds (usually the 10 to 11pm feed) will fall away, and your baby may now sleep for a six- or seven-hour stretch before waking for a feed at 1 or 2am – bliss!

Provided she is gaining weight, and is not ill, do not give your baby milk if less than two and a half hours have elapsed since her last feed.

Stretch her as close to three to four hours between feeds as you can by offering her 30 to 50ml of cooled, boiled water from a spoon or bottle. Expect another growth spurt before the three-month mark. THREE TO SIX MONTHS Hopefully being up for the whole night is now a thing of the past, and your days should start to form a definite pattern, with clearer times of feeding, sleeping and playing.

Your baby will now recognise and thrive on familiar events in her world and will begin to understand and enjoy her predictable routine.

Around this time day feeds are three to four hours apart and the second night feed (1 to 2 am) may fall away. As long as she is not ill, and is thriving, your baby is now able to sleep for about eight hours at night before waking for a feed.

Stretch the time between her feeds by patting or cuddling her back to sleep. Your baby may become hungrier around the age of four months, and begin to pick up extra night feeds. If this is happening, it may be time to introduce solid food into her diet.

Talk to your healthcare practitioner who will advise when to start. Follow the introduction to solids guidelines in the book series Baby Sense for advice.

SIX TO NINE MONTHS You can expect a predictable day routine now, and a lot more sleep at night as your baby no longer needs night feeds. Your little one will be enjoying a variety of solid food from all the food groups three times a day, and her milk feeds will drop to one on waking, one after lunch and one at bedtime because of these solids foods.

Be sure to feed your baby some finger foods (fruits, biscuits) mid-morning and mid-afternoon. If your baby is still waking for feeds during the night (she doesn’t need them unless she is ill), you can commence with some gentle sleep training.

She will still need two to three naps during the day, depending on her ageappropriate awake time.

NINE TO 12 MONTHS

Your little one is entering into the most exciting phase of her first year of development – she is becoming mobile. What an exciting place to be!

By now your baby should be eating a variety of solids and finger foods. She may also drop her after-lunch milk feed. If night waking persists, consider sleep training.

She will still need two to three naps during the day, depending on her awake time.

THE TODDLER YEARS

Toddlers thrive on routine, so having predictability in her day and getting enough sleep is as important to your toddler as following a healthy diet and receiving adequate stimulation.

Tantrums are usually the result of an overstimulated and overtired toddler. Sticking to a flexible routine, watching her sensory cues and disciplining when

appropriate will all contribute to a pleasant and relaxed journey through the toddler years.

DAYTIME FOR TOTS

From the age of one your toddler should be eating solids from all food groups and have only one to two cups of milk per day, given on waking and at bedtime. Sit at the table with her during mealtimes, and try to have at least one family meal a day – this is how she will learn table manners.

Keep her days predictable – always pre-warn her of events and activities so that she knows to expect a change to the flow of the day.

Get clothes, lunches and bags organised the night before to avoid the mad morning rush, which may unsettle your toddler. Arrange outings and activities to fall within her awake time and try not to cram too many errands into one outing so that you don’t stay out too late in the day.

Day nap(s) or quiet time are still necessary, but if your toddler has dropped her day nap, make sure it’s early to bed – work on 6pm – to ensure she gets enough sleep. If you have to go out and naptime is looming, remember to take along her sleep friend (dummy or soft toy) and a blanket. She will be able to, on occasion, miss a day sleep owing to an important event.

BEDTIME FOR TOTS

Try to serve the family supper at roughly the same time each evening, and then perform the same activities thereafter until bedtime to create a sense of routine and normalcy in your toddler’s night life. Tidy up after supper – teach your toddler to put her own dishes in the sink or dishwasher – and then let her help you run the bath and lay out her pyjamas and toiletries in readiness for bedtime.

After her bath, keep stimulation to a minimum and offer your toddler the last drink of the day (if appropriate). Help her to choose a book for her bedtime story and then give her a cuddle and kiss before popping her into bed. Make a rule that there will be no story unless she gets into bed and under covers. After you’ve read her a bedtime story, give her a last kiss and cuddle, and a firm and loving “goodnight” before leaving the room. Your little one should sleep for approximately 10 to 12 hours a night without needing milk or any nutrition. However, if delayed bedtimes and frequent night wakings are beginning to impact on your relationships and your health, consider implementing some sleep and behaviour strategies.

Creating a routine will provide your child with a solid secure foundation and also make things easier for the whole family – good luck.

SETTLING DOWN FOR A NAP

As a rule of thumb, start to prepare your baby for day sleeps ten minutes before the time is up. This time of “unwinding” prior to naptime will ensure that your baby is not overtired or overstimulated by the time she goes down for her sleep.

Modulate the environment to block out excessive light and noise, and help her to unwind by wrapping her in a soft blanket, rocking and cuddling.

In the toddler years, bedtime rituals such as tidying up, teeth brushing and story time help to prepare your little one for sleep. YB