Letters
THE BEST CRY EVER
When I found out I was pregnant, I had a lot of mixed emotions. The relationship with the man who fathered my child ended. He said he was not ready to father a baby with me. I went through the pregnancy alone.
The day of the birth was a day of mixed emotions. I was going to be responsible for someone. I was going to be a mother.
My daughter was born, and when she cried in the delivery room, it was the best cry I had heard my whole life.
The best gift ever was here: Bohlale Simelane. She’s three months now.
I love being a mother, and I love my gift from God. NOKUKHANYA SIMELANE, JOHANNESBURG
I HOPE I CAN BE LIKE MY MOM
The greatest moment in my life was waking up in hospital after giving birth and seeing my 75-year-old mother next to me with my one-day-old daughter, Zanokuhle Shabangu – with a big pack of fish and chips next to her. I’m everything I am today because of you. You listened to me and allowed me to express myself and be who I am. You told me that I matter, that my thoughts matter. I was always allowed to err. I was nurtured and believed in. It’s when you’re allowed to err and given an opportunity to learn, when you’re never given up on – even when you cease to believe in yourself – and when you’re told that you can, even when you doubt your abilities, that you can truly grow.
I hope to be to my daughter what my mom has been to me. DINEO MAKALA, BRONKHORSTSPRUIT
RUBELLA SCARE MADE ME THINK
Not long into my pregnancy, I broke out in a rash that was first diagnosed as rubella. My gynae advised that if this diagnosis were confirmed I would have to terminate because of the risks facing the child. When she said those words, my heart sunk, I got a lump in my throat and just broke down. Thankfully, I found out I was immune to rubella, so the rash was something unrelated. Only now do I realise how much this baby means to me. I’ve been given a gift that so many women can’t have. RACHEL SMITH, STANGER
WHERE’S THE SISTERHOOD?
One of the things I have found most challenging about being a mom is how judgemental our peers, parents, in-laws, doctors and whoever can be. I believe this has resulted in moms becoming very defensive of their decisions when it comes to things like the type of birth they had, breastfeeding, using a dummy, staying at home – I could go on and on! Sadly, this guardedness can make conversations between moms strained, especially when it is established that they are doing things quite differently from each other.
This makes it difficult for moms to connect and learn from each other. I think it is safe to say that moms always do what they think is best for their children. But what is right for me is not necessarily right for someone else. Am I right? RUTH PICAS, CENTURION
WHEN THINGS GET REAL
My husband didn’t show much of an interest througout my pregnancy, but when I woke him up to tell him that I was in labour, his face lit up. Long story short, I had to have a C-section 12 hours after getting to the hospital. When my baby took his first breath it was love at first sight. It was so amazing to have been able to experience my waters breaking even though I had a C-section. Pregnant ladies, if your partner doesn’t show an interest in the baby, or in anything baby-related, try not to stress – as soon as they hold that little life in their arms, they take on the role wholeheartedly. Mine did! BARBRA VANESE, PAARL