Eight reasons routine is important
THIS IS THE ABILITY TO PUT OFF SOMETHING MILDLY FUN OR PLEASURABLE NOW, IN ORDER TO GAIN SOMETHING THAT IS MORE FUN, PLEASURABLE, OR REWARDING LATER
EVERY DAY IS A steep learning curve for children, as they’re exposed to new things and situations. With no life experience, they tend to fear the unknown. This could either be a big life change, like starting at a new daycare, or a tiny hurdle, like being faced with a new vegetable to try. For our little people these can all be stressful challenges.
Routine, the practice of regularly doing things in the same order, can bring steadiness and security to their lives. There are the ones that give the day a consistent rhythm – bedtime, bath time and mealtimes – and then there are the ones, such as outdoor play and family time, that are an investment in your child’s emotional development. “Children need to learn to trust their world. They need to know what to expect and what’s expected of them,” says Durban-based child psychologist Lisa Fowler.
Young children also need routine because they don’t have the reasoning skills to know what’s best for them, and they don’t understand consequences. For example, if they don’t go to bed on time, they don’t understand they’ll be grumpy and tired the next day. Here’s why routine can benefit both you and your child.
1 ROUTINE CAN HELP CHILDREN SUCCEED AT SCHOOL Research conducted by The Prince’s Trust shows that children who don’t have a regular bedtime or mealtime achieve lower marks at school than those who have structure and direction in their lives. So, what’s at play?
“Home is the prime environment in which the child’s potential, motivation and personality is shaped. This is where they will start to learn all the skills they need to succeed at school,” says Charlene Mcintosh, another child psychologist in Durban.
By meeting the objectives given to them by their parents, children learn to enjoy mastering tasks and pleasing their parents. This leads to selfconfidence, curiosity and other healthy attitudes, she says.
Yup, a good home routine sets them up with many executive functioning skills that are crucial for an academic setting – time management, selfcorrection, critical thinking, memory, responsibility and problem solving and planning.
Routine, she says, literally helps the brain develop in positive ways. “The brain needs both love and routine to grow and develop. This is because a child needs routine to feel safe,” Charlene says.
When a child doesn’t feel safe, the stress hormones in their brain are going to be a lot higher. This activates the limbic system (the “emotional” part of the brain), so the “thinking” part of the brain is less likely to be active, she explains.
“If your child feels happy and safe, they’re more able to learn and interact in their environment in a healthy way. If they feel unsafe, a lot of their energy is channelled into making their world more predictable instead – and that’s not going into learning.”
2 IT TEACHES THEM DELAYED GRATIFICATION Routine also helps children understand the difference between “before and after”.
“A young child’s brain is going through major changes, especially the part of the brain that’s able to plan ahead and make predictions about the future. So, a routine helps kids practise these simple predictions. For example, ‘I know what’s coming next,’” Charlene says.
Crucially, mastering this concept allows children to learn self- control. For example, if they learn that they have to tidy their toys before they can go play outside, it helps them learn to delay gratification. This is the ability to put off something mildly fun or pleasurable now, in order to gain something that is more fun, pleasurable or rewarding later.
In our children’s worlds, which is all about instant gratification – Google for answers, Youtube for entertainment, and online shopping for anything they dream of – waiting for something in a controlled way is a crucial life skill, Charlene says. Again, she confirms that research has shown that children who are able to delay gratification do better at school than those who can’t.
THEY’LL BE 3 HEALTHIER ADULTS
Talking of “screen time”, getting our children moving is increasingly a challenge – which is why it’s so important to build consistent time into their day for them to be active.
This will keep them fighting fit but will also have lasting benefits.
A team at the University of California conducted research that shows that access to exercise in childhood increases the voluntary choice to do exercise in adulthood.
4 IT SETS THEIR BODY CLOCKS A regular bedtime routine – going to bed the same time every night and waking the same time every morning – is important to a child’s daytime functioning. “Our bodies are programmed to do certain things throughout the day.
For example, when the sun starts to set, our bodies start to produce the hormone melatonin, which makes us sleepy. So, having those regular points in the day is important from a biological perspective,” Charlene says.
Research published on the site Sciencedirect shows that children who have a two-hour difference in bedtime across the week are six times more likely to display hyperactive behaviour. It’s called “social jetlag” – the difference in sleep times affects your child’s circadian rhythm or “body clock”. This is the daily cycle that tells our bodies when to sleep, wake and eat. When your circadian rhythm is disrupted, sleeping and eating patterns can go out the window.
5 ROUTINES REDUCE POWER STRUGGLES If you’re following a routine, a child knows what will happen next, but you can also use the structure to empower them with making decisions. For example, you can let them choose a bedtime story or decide if they would like to bath before or after they’ve brushed their teeth. Because they feel in control by being given simple choices, they’re less likely to throw a strop when you ask them to complete a task.
For toddlers you may need to remind them of the process. For example: “I know you want a biscuit. But it’s time for our walk. Remember, after walk time, it’s snack time.”
As the parent, you become a partner in that routine, rather than the person who’s telling the child to “do this” and “not do this”. When children feel empowered and independent, they’re less likely to rebel or retaliate.
6 ROUTINES HELP CHILDREN COPE WITH TRANSITIONS
Switching from one activity to the next can be challenging for some kids. Routines help them practise the transitions that happen during the day. For example, switching from playtime to nap time; or leaving the park to go home. Being able to change activities without feeling stressed is a crucial skill for children in preparation for preschool.
7 IT FOSTERS FAMILY BONDS
It’s a challenge to gather the family around the table for every meal, but Charlene recommends building at least one shared meal into your daily routine. “Switch off the TV, sit at the table, and talk to each other,” she says.
This is the time to build your family bonds and speak to each other about your day.
It’s not just about the feel-good factor. There are many benefits.
“It’s about connection, and we can’t learn and develop without links to other people. If a child doesn’t have anyone regulating them, their brain is stressed. So, they need that quality time to help them be co-regulated,” she says.
Your children will also learn how to take turns in conversation, listen to others, wait for food to be served and help you clean up.
These are all great social skills that will help them later on in school and life. They’ll also lap up language and vocabulary. Clever tot!
8 IT ESTABLISHES HEALTHY HABITS
Practice makes perfect. From getting them dressed to brushing their teeth, routines help establish healthy habits, and they’ll learn to better manage their time. As they grow older, they’ll have more self- discipline in terms of grooming and other habits.
THE IMPORTANCE OF FLEXIBILITY
They say rules are made to be broken, and Charlene agrees that routines need to be flexible. Spontaneity and creativity are important. “They need to be shown that it’s okay to deviate from a task and come back to the routine because that’s what happens in life,” she says. YB