FIND COMMON GROUND

“I recommend that new parents find a maximum of three parenting books and then both read those books beforehand. This allows you to start off with common ground and a common frame of reference from where you can discuss your parenting styles and attitudes,” recommends Jeanine (see “Recommended reading list” below).

BE PREPARED FOR CHANGE

No matter what you’ve discussed with your partner, no matter how solid you think your parenting plan is, be prepared for it to change after you’ve discussed what your boundaries are. After all, you can’t account for is your baby’s temperament. There will be three people involved now, not just two. You may intend to parent using time-outs for discipline, but if your child doesn’t respond to that form of discipline, it’s simply not going to work.

“It’s useful, while you’re pregnant, to say: ‘These are ideas that we have, and I am going to see what kind of child we get and take it one step at a time’,” recommends Jeanine. “You need to have a broad sense of how you’re going to manage things and establish that with your partner, but you must have a willingness to change and adapt,” advises Jeanine.

STAY CONNECTED

A new baby represents massive change for both of you, but sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that the baby represents a huge change for dad as well as mom. “If you can hold that in mind, then you can learn together,” says Jeanine. You won’t have the same amount of time for each other – and that’s not a bad thing, but part of a healthy, growing process that you’re embarking on. “Find different and new ways of connecting with your partner,” recommends Jeanine. Whether it’s the tried-andtrusted “date night”, a morning cup of tea in bed together or another approach altogether, coming together as partners is key to a healthy relationship. “While things can be quite difficult in the beginning, this doesn’t mean a rupture in the relationship. It’s about taking it one step at a time,” she says. YP