I dreamt I was having a girl, but now I know I’m expecting a boy – I’m so disappointed!

Dreams about, and feelings of disappointment around, your baby’s sex are quite typical. “Gender disappointment is a real phenomenon that can be diagnosed and treated, and can be described as a feeling similar to suffering a death or loss. Parents often feel very ashamed of being disappointed about the sex of their child, especially when it is a beautiful and healthy baby. They fear seeming ungrateful and selfish or childish,” says Karin Steyn, a counselling psychologist and hypnotherapist. “As with any loss, the parents need to be encouraged to mourn their loss in a safe and supportive environment. Psychotherapy will be useful to identify and express the perceived loss of the life the parents dreamt they would have and the experiences they longed to have with the child of their dreams.” “Once they have mourned the loss (and this may take some time) they should be encouraged to slowly come to accept their reality, and bond with their baby. It is for each parent to decide how strongly they feel about knowing the child’s sex in advance, so that they have the opportunity to prepare to welcome their baby with open arms into this world. One thing to keep in mind is that most parents describe that they fall in love with the baby they receive and develop a healthy bond, given enough time and support.”