YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Consider calling your nearest Family Life Centre or Life Line support centre if private counselling isn’t an option.
Q
I’m suffering from pain in my lower pelvic area and a sharp pain in my left buttock when I stand for too long on my legs. What could this be?
A TINA SAYS
This is a very common problem in pregnancy and occurs due to the postural changes in your body during pregnancy that cause a shift in your centre of gravity. A weak pelvic floor and tight hamstrings may also contribute to your discomfort. Hormonal changes have a part to play in making the ligaments around the joints more lax. Pain may be felt in the buttock and down the leg as the sacroiliac joint of the pelvis moves and sometimes traps a nerve to the leg. Improve your posture. When standing or walking, your chin should be pulled back and not poking forward, your shoulders and rib cage should be lifted up and back, and when standing, try to tuck your bottom in, so that you feel your tummy muscles working to support your spine. A warm compress such as a buckwheat pillow or a hot water bottle applied to the affected area will increase circulation and release the spasm, speeding up healing and the feeling of relaxation. Sleep with a pillow between your knees. Moderate, regular and gentle exercise will strengthen the body’s postural muscles. Physiotherapy, osteopathy and chiropractic care will help. Be sure to contact a qualified practitioner who has experience with pregnant women. Ask your caregiver to refer you. Wear a bra that fits you properly and is well supporting, and wear low-heeled shoes. Ask your partner to massage your back while you sit on a stool or a chair or lie on your side on a bed. Warm baths or vigorous water showers will do much to lift sagging spirits as well as sagging backs and sore joints.
Q
I’m 28 weeks pregnant. At my last scan it appeared there was very little water around the baby, and my baby’s weight had dropped. Also, there was too much water around the baby’s heart, but this reduced a week later. But still the water around the baby was too little. My doctor said he’s waiting until I reach 34 weeks to perform a C-section. Is 34 weeks is too early to birth?
A BRONWYN SAYS:
It is important to remember that the reason you go for routine visits in pregnancy is to detect problems that may arise. It seems that you have placental insufficiency – in other words the placenta is not supplying enough to your growing baby. This was identified on scan by the fact that there is not much amniotic fluid and that there is poor growth of your baby. Rest will certainly help to maximise placental function. It is also important for you to eat a balanced diet, avoid caffeine and definitely stop smoking if you are a smoker. You can’t reverse placental damage but these will optimise remaining placental function. In many cases there is no cause found for placental insufficiency – it just happens. Water around the heart is usually seen in a condition called hydrops and this has specific causes. A pregnancy is considered full term at 37 weeks, but babies born prematurely often do very well. At 28 weeks babies are usually around 1kg and the neonatologists are accustomed to looking after these babes in NICU. Your baby may be smaller than a kilogram if there has been poor growth, but will have the maturity of a 28-week baby. A 30-week baby weighing only 1kg will usually do better than a baby weighing 1.1kg who is only 27 weeks. Every day counts now. Your doctor needs to decide on a daily basis whether it is safer for your baby to be in your uterus or outside in NICU. You have probably been given steroid injections to mature your babies lungs in case early delivery is necessary and you should deliver in a hospital with a good neonatal ICU.
Q
I’m 31 years old and at my sonar, everything seemed fine with my pregnancy. Then I started bleeding, and I rushed to hospital. By this time I was bleeding heavily, and the doctor said my cervix was open, and I lost the baby. I don’t understand it – I was only 10 weeks pregnant. I feel so lost, as if I was not taking care of myself or the baby. I was so looking forward to breastfeeding again. I feel as if a part of me has been taken away and I can never have it again. My boyfriend was so excited as it would have been his first child. He is so hurt, and I don’t know how to comfort him. I am hurt, and I know he was going to be a good father.
A KARIN SAYS
I am so sorry for your loss. I am relieved to see that both you and your partner are actively mourning this loss, as this is a healthy and necessary step to healing and moving on with your lives in the future. Give your man some time and space to process this loss in his own way, but also try to keep the lines of communication and interaction open between the two of you. You could choose a name for the baby and write a farewell letter to this child or find a way to say goodbye in your own way. Children do not have to be born alive to touch our lives in a meaningful way. Take time to think about how this baby influenced your lives and your relationship, and give thanks for this experience and opportunity and all that you have gained (not only lost). I know that many women feel such disappointment in their bodies and themselves for not being able to carry the pregnancy successfully to the end, but I also know that taking this personally will not help. We do not always understand why a miscarriage takes place, especially when we have been able to have babies with relative ease before this pregnancy. Frequently a miscarriage is nature’s way of ensuring that the babies that are born will be more healthy and able to live a quality life. Perhaps the two of you could use this opportunity to reflect on your desire to be parents together and bring another child into this world, and then plan it proactively. Planned pregnancies are easier to monitor as you are able to take the steps even before the pregnancy to ensure that you are in good health, and create the conditions for optimum fertility, pregnancy and birth.