Just smile & wave...

When it comes to guidance, otherwise known as unsolicited advice, it’s easy to end up in parenting overload. Luckily you don’t have to listen to everything you hear.

Between well-meaning friends and family and the dozens of baby books you made your way through during pregnancy, it’s hard to decide what advice to follow and what is downright useless when Baby finally does come along. Here we show you which pieces of information you can safely ignore, along with a few tips that you might decide to use. Remember though to do what works best for you. Even when you’re at your wits’ end and have no idea what to do or where to turn, you are the only – and the best – mother for your child. Repeat the mantra “this too shall pass”.

‘DON’T PICK YOUR BABY UP – YOU’LL SPOIL HIM’

“You can’t spoil a newborn baby,” says Meg Faure, baby expert and co-author of popular baby books Baby Sense and Your Sensory Baby. The reason for this, she explains, is because newborn babies don’t have long-term memories or the cognitive ability to make the connection between crying and getting a response (being picked up by you).

“Newborn babies also have very strong sensory needs, and very often what they’re looking for is proximity in terms of their sensory needs – what they need is touch and movement,” she says.

“In other words, newborns need to be rocked, held and cuddled. By depriving them of these loving acts, you’re not meeting one of their basic needs, which is to make a sensory connection with you, their parent.”

‘NEVER APPLY SUNSCREEN TO A NEWBORN BABY’

Sunburn, dehydration, heat stroke and potential skin cancer is far more dangerous for your baby than applying sunscreen is. “It’s not necessary to put your baby in the sun at all, as we live in a climate where we all get enough sun and vitamin D just by being out and about,” says Cape Town based paediatrician

Dr Paul Sinclair.

If, however, you know you’re going to be outdoors between 10am and 4pm and are stuck for shade, make sure your baby’s wearing protective clothing and a hat. Always apply sunscreen to his exposed areas (his ears, the tip of his nose, the back of his hands) – right from the newborn stage – to prevent sunburn.

“There are two different types of sunscreens on the market: the chemical ones that convert UV radiation, and the zinc ones, which literally block out the sun, and which work much better,” Dr Sinclair says.

‘GIVE YOUR BABY PARACETAMOL BEFORE A VACCINATION’

It’s not necessary to medicate babies before an injection.

In fact, doing so can actually interfere with the vaccine.

Tiny babies rarely react to vaccinations and often even sleep through the quick procedure. If your baby needs comforting, do so by offering him a feed. Now take a deep breath yourself when it comes to jab time – it really is much harder for you than it is for him. “If you’ve been advised to give your baby paracetamol to take the edge off his vaccinations, know that this information has now been disproved, as it slightly reduces the efficacy of the vaccination,” explains

Sister Cindy Homewood, co-owner of Bowwood Baby Clinic in Cape Town. “We advise parents to wait and see if there is a reaction. Modern vaccines are so specialised that we rarely see a fever afterwards, although some babies are a little more sleepy, and some have a fussy period a few hours later.”

‘PUT CEREAL IN YOUR BABY’S BOTTLE FOR BETTER SLEEP’

The need and desire to have a young baby sleep through as soon as possible is understandable but not always reasonable, says clinical paediatric dietician Kath Megaw (contact her via nutripaeds.co.za). “In babies under six months old, adding porridge to bottles to fill up their tummies is not at all recommended, as it fills them up on fairly empty calories, starch only, and leaves less need for milk protein and other essential nutrients. It also increases the risk of obesity due to the refined starch calories,” she says.

It’s not necessary to medicate babies before an injection.

Thickened bottle feeds may be a risk in infants under four months, as they can lead to choking, Kath adds. “Giving cereal means you are introducing solids – and that’s not recommended before four to six months of age. Introduction prior to 17 weeks is not recommended due to increased risk of allergy and childhood obesity.”

‘WAKE YOUR BABY TO CHANGE HIS NAPPY AT NIGHT’

“You need to teach your baby that nighttime is for sleeping and have very muted interaction with him if he is waking up frequently at night,” Meg advises. In other words, don’t change his wet nappy unnecessarily at night – they really do make them super absorbent these days. They don’t need to be changed at every feed.

Bear in mind that many babies poo after a feed, in which case you’ll have to change. Too much time in a soiled nappy could lead to a urinary tract infection. Similarly, babies who have diarrhoea are also at risk of getting contact dermatitis (nappy rash). “Babies produce acidic stools that burn, mostly around the anus, and this is a cause of nappy rash,” says Dr Sinclair.

‘BATH YOUR BABY EVERY DAY’

It’s really not necessary to bath your baby every day, as he won’t get dirty, and a weekly bath is more than adequate until he’s happy to be naked.

“Being unfolded and naked is very stressful and frightening for babies. They feel more secure when they are contained,” Cindy says. What’s more, she explains, is that our water is harsh in comparison to the perfect environment of the amniotic fluid and could “strip the natural oils off the skin”.

“Rather freshen your baby’s head and neck by wiping these with a warm, damp facecloth,” she says. “The nappy area is constantly being cleaned, so you can leave his middle section clothed, and he will be calmer and feel more secure this way.”

‘LET SLEEPING BABIES LIE’

While it won’t hurt your baby to sleep all day and stay awake all night, it’s not going to be good for your own health, or fun for you or your partner at 2am, if you don’t fix his day-night sleeping pattern right from the start.

“Parents needs to actively work to reverse such a sleep pattern. While it’s perfectly acceptable to go with the flow for many things during those early weeks, day-night confusion should be corrected immediately,” says Meg.

“Start by never letting your baby sleep for more than three-hour stretches during the day.

”This doesn’t mean you can’t feed him more frequently, but make sure that you wake him up every three hours during the day to feed if you want him to sleep for longer stretches at night.”