Minimalist parenting
Minimalism is a trend that is here to stay. But how does it work once you have kids?
“Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” All the hip and happening organisers of 2020 have a version of this quote in their books and shows, but it was first said by William Morris, a 19th century English textile designer, artist, writer, socialist and Marxist. Even the sentence itself is rather sparse, but at the same time profound. Look up from this magazine for a minute, and scan the room around you. Is everything you see useful or beautiful? Minimalists do this often, and if the answer is no, the item gets passed on, sold or thrown away. Exhoarders that have converted to minimalism give testimony of how adopting this new attitude toward stuff can bring great joy. The rest of us are fascinated by the process, as evidenced by the popularity of Marie Kondo’s show on Netflix and the buzz around “Swedish death cleaning”. A lot has also been written about millennials who choose to have experiences rather than own things. They’d rather spend money on travel than buy a car or a house. Music, books and movies are owned digitally or streamed, and photographs and memories live on social media and in the cloud.
If all this sounds appealing rather than weird, you might just have the makings of a minimalist mom.
DECIDE TO DOWNSIZE
There are many ways to sort your stuff. You could do it room by room (start with a bathroom and end with the garage), or category by category: for example books, then clothes, then bedding, then kitchen utensils and so on. You could dedicate an entire weekend to the job, or eat the elephant and do 15 minutes a day instead. Whichever method you choose, it has to start with a decision. Remind yourself of a time when you had less and were perfectly okay, like when you backpacked for a year with only 13kg of things. You were happy, right? Then remind yourself that there are many, many needy people in South Africa who would find a lot of your stuff useful and beautiful, even though you have moved on.
Make piles for donation, piles for selling and piles for throwing out, and get on with it. Generate some minimalist momentum to keep you going!
Another rule to follow as you start to strip it down to essentials is the onein, one-out rule. Every time you buy something new (a piece of clothing, an item for the kitchen, a little treasure for the mantlepiece or a toy), you give away an older version of the same thing. This habit will curb the urge to stock up on random cheapies, and it ensures that your home is filled only with things that you truly love.
AND NOW ADD BABY
The arrival of a new baby can put strain on your minimalist attitude though, as babies needs stuff – lots and lots of stuff. Don’t let it get the better of you with our tips: Do your research and buy the best quality you can afford. This means you only buy once, and the item might even last for a second or third child, or might be in high demand at a second-hand sale when you’re done with it. Choose compact items such as camp cots or prams and baby gyms that fold for easy storage. You even get foldable baby baths. And did you know you can rent a breast pump?
Pass things on, or swop. Babies grow fast, and they also outgrow their toys quickly in the first year or two. Pass those tiny clothes and toys on, and if you’re lucky, someone with a child just a little older will be passing things on to you. Keep the circle of abundance going! Have one big dedicated toy box. The box can be full, but never overflowing. When a new toy is bought or received, something from the box needs to be donated or sold. Teach your child this skill from a young age.
Once you’ve decluttered, you might still feel unhappy with all the stuff standing around. In this case, you need to be more savvy with storage. Invest in some shelves and boxes and hooks, so that everything you own has its proper place. Designate a spot in your house for gathering giveaway items. It can be a chair at the foot of the staircase, or the bottom drawer in your cupboard. When you’ve collected a good-size pile, drop it off at your local charity.
Don’t forget to do a digital cleanup once in a while too. Keep your photographs neatly sorted and safely in the cloud. Aim to always be able to see the bottom of your inbox at the end of a working day.
Feeling keen but overwhelmed? Get help. There are many professional organisers who would come for a session at your home and help to get your started and give you a plan of how to achieve your goals. Have a look at ohsoorganised.com or awesomeorganising.com.