Month 2: Second time ’round(er)?

Just because you’ve done this pregnancy thing before does not mean your second one will be exactly the same. From your bump to back pain and birth, the experience will still be unique.

So, you’ve been there, birthed that – and basically that means you’re an expert at this pregnancy thing, right? Think again. Your second pregnancy can be very different from your first, say both the experts and second-time moms. “One thing that’s for sure is that you’re not the same person you were during your first pregnancy,” says Dr Qinisile Diale, a gynaecologist and obstetrician at Netcare Unitas Hospital. “It’s not just that you’re a bit older, but you’ve also grown as a woman,” says Dr Q, as her patients call her. ”You are more experienced, and you are not travelling an untravelled road.” Read on to see what physical and psychological differences your second pregnancy may have in store for you.

YOU’RE MORE TIRED THAN BEFORE

You probably spent large parts of your first pregnancy enjoying afternoon naps or relaxing on the couch bingeing on your favourite series or movies. Of course, you didn’t have a pre-schooler waking you up in the pre-dawn hours, or a toddler to stimulate back then. This is one of the reasons you may be experiencing more fatigue this time around.

“Again, age plays a role here, as does the fact that a second pregnancy is more strenuous physically,” Dr Q adds. “During your first pregnancy, you were roughly two years younger than you are now. You were likely fitter too.”

Give yourself, and your body, a break by delegating a bit more. Ask your partner to help out by making breakfast in the mornings, so that you can have a bit of a lie-in. You could also ask them to take over bathtime or taking your older child off your hands – this will help with the transition when Baby arrives, as you’ll have even less time then.

YOUR BUMP MIGHT MAKE AN EARLIER APPEARANCE

Your first pregnancy stretched your abdominal muscles and your uterus. Because they’re a bit laxer, and they have stretched this way before, you’ll probably start showing a lot sooner than you did before. So, get ready to bust out those elasticated waistbands and maternity outfits!

YOU COULD FEEL BABY MOVE SOONER

You might just feel those first little flutters at around 14 to 16 weeks, whereas the average in a first-time pregnancy is anywhere from 20 to 24 weeks. “The biggest cause for this is the fact that you know how these movements feel, and so you’re able to identify them,” explains Dr Ockert van Schalkwyk, gynaecologist and obstetrician at Mediclinic Midstream. “But don’t worry if you’re not feeling foetal movements much earlier. The position of the placenta also plays a big role in this. If the placenta is in an anterior position with the baby ‘behind it’, you’ll also feel the movements a bit later. It is almost like putting a box in front of a speaker – you can still hear the sound, but it is softer than it is supposed to be.”

YOU’LL PROBABLY WORRY ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS

With your first pregnancy, you likely worried about every little twinge, knew exactly how big your sprog was compared to various fruits and vegetables, and spent your free time putting together a list of questions to ask your doctor at your next check-up. “Women are usually a lot less anxious and nervous in their second pregnancies. They have different anticipations and expectations when it comes to their pregnancies and births,” Dr Q says. “This comes down to experience, once again. A second-time mother is like an experienced driver.”

If anything, your worries have shifted to the changes that a second baby will bring in terms of finances, preparing your first-born for a sibling, or what having another child is going to mean for your relationship with your partner.

Just like your first-pregnancy concerns, the best way to deal with any anxieties is to talk them out and try to find solutions with your partner. You could also talk to parents in your social circle who have had more than one child to find out how they handled the changes of going from a family of three to a family of four or more.

BACK PAIN COULD GET WORSE

You can thank those stretched-out abdominal muscles for this one too. Remember that as your pregnancy progresses, your centre of gravity also shifts, and this puts strain on your lower back, plus your growing baby is likely to be lying lower in your abdomen. You’re also running around after a toddler or preschooler, and bending down to pick things up or lifting them up for a hug or cuddle. Now’s the time to teach your tot how to climb onto a little stool to get into their bed, so that you don’t have to lift them up. Sit down and help your child onto your lap for a cuddle rather than picking them up, bend your knees when picking anything up off the floor, and look into a maternity support belt if it gets really bad.

YOU MAY HAVE A HIGHERRISK PREGNANCY

“If you had complications in your first pregnancy, like pre-eclampsia or preterm birth, chances are that it might happen again. This is why it’s very important that your doctor is aware of anything that happened during your first pregnancy, as there are steps that can be taken to prevent these complications or to manage them,” Dr Ockie says. “Hyperemesis gravidarum is also one of the conditions that can be worse in a second or subsequent pregnancy.” What’s more, you might have a higher risk of developing complications even if your first pregnancy was a dream. “We find that most women in their second pregnancies are around 35 years of age and older. This automatically puts them at a higher risk of pre-eclampsia and other conditions – not because it’s their second pregnancy, but because of their age. If you had a c-section with your first birth, you also have an increased risk of complications like uterine rupture, placenta previa or placental abruption,” Dr Q explains. “The more c-sections you’ve had, the higher your risk of surgical complications too.”

YOUR LABOUR WILL BE SHORTER

“A second labour usually occurs at almost the same gestation as the first pregnancy, but it is also usually shorter and easier than the first time,” Dr Ockie says. Finally, a silver lining!

“You can expect to experience the same kind of pain,” Dr Q says, “but because your uterine muscle is now experienced, and your contractions are more regular, frequent and effective, you can expect a shorter delivery.” Studies have shown that first-time labours average 10 to 14 hours, while second-time labours last around six to eight hours (this is in the first stage). ”Pushing is also going to be different,” she says, ”mostly because you have done this before, so your body is experienced at it, and you know exactly how to push to get that baby out. I also find that secondtime moms have a lot less fear of the labouring process and feel more in control of things – which also helps.” Whatever your second-time-around experience is, it’s a magical time. Enjoy it as much as you can – soon you’ll have a whole new human in your arms.

WHAT STAYS THE SAME? TAKE YOUR PREGGY VITAMINS

It’s more important than ever that you take a good pregnancy multivitamin, even before you conceive if possible. Your body is working hard at building a baby and keeping your existing family going, so it needs all the additional support it can get.

GO FOR REGULAR CHECK-UPS

Be sure you schedule and attend regular check-ups and scans with your healthcare provider. This will help to ensure that your pregnancy is progressing healthily, and helps you and your doctor or midwife stay on top of any issues that might come up.

YOU NEED JUST AS MUCH SUPPORT FROM YOUR PARTNER, IF NOT MORE

Just because you’ve done this before doesn’t mean you won’t need to feel supported and loved. Life is most likely more hectic than it ever was, and your partner plays a vital role in helping you feel that you’ve got this.