When depression holds you back

The desperation some women experience following birth can be treated very successfully, but often we don’t even know we have it.

For months, you waited for the arrival of your baby. Sometimes you were even impatient. In those last weeks before his birth it was difficult walking past the nursery without going in and hauling out the neatly folded baby clothes and stroking them a little.

And then, finally, you were holding him for the first time. It felt like heaven.

But as the hours went by, a feeling of uncertainty washed over you. Two weeks on you were not only dead tired, you were also dead scared. Scared to leave the four walls of your house, even perhaps the four walls of your room. You cried more than you laughed. Everything was too much for you. And you were no longer sure if you wanted this little human being with you. What you visualised before as a very special time with your baby and your partner had degenerated into one of the most stressful times of your life. You were no longer the woman you’d been before the birth of your little one.

If you can identify with some of these feelings, you were possibly suffering from postnatal depression. This condition, also known as post-partum depression, is a serious illness but also one that can be treated very successfully.

For some mothers, it lasts only a brief moment, thankfully. Others – mostly those who did not get help early enough – never completely recover from it. “Although almost 80 percent of all women feel quite down – or have the baby blues – after giving birth, just about one out of every 10 women suffer from postnatal depression or PND,” says Emerentia Esterhuyse, a psychiatric social worker specialising in the treatment of PND.

This illness can be cured quickly if you act fast.

There is also a more serious condition, known as postnatal psychosis, where women often can’t see any other way out than killing their child or themselves. “Only about two or three out of every 1 000 women suffer from this lifethreatening illness,” Emerentia assures.

She says PND is an entirely different kettle of fish from the tears that accompany the baby blues. You’ll usually spot symptoms of the latter occurring three or four days after the delivery, and they also disappear about four days later. But if you still feel weepy two weeks after your child was born, you might have PND.

“The shock and adjustment phase of the new baby should be over by then,” Emerentia says. But tears are definitely not the only symptom.

A general feeling of irritability – with yourself, your baby, your partner and pretty much everyone around you – is one of the most well-known symptoms of PND. If you think everything is an effort – like packing the baby bag or popping out to the shops – it’s another sign.

Women with PND, however, often function well and care for their baby, Emerentia says. They just don’t do it with a smile or with tenderness.

“To wake up sad every morning is not part of the ‘I’ve just had a baby’ package of emotions,” she emphasises.

Apathy, a change in eating patterns and digestive problems Sleeplessness or its opposite – you just want to sleep

An inability to bond with Baby Over-sensitivity to people’s comments A feeling that responsibilities overwhelm you

A feeling that you’re failing as a mom Withdrawal from everyone and everything

PND does not pick between young or old, rich or poor or smart or less smart. It can happen to any woman. But there are risk factors. The research shows that your chances to experience PND are greater if you…

or suffered a miscarriage. “We often see moms who fell pregnant again shortly after a miscarriage only really mourning the first baby when the new one has arrived,” Emerentia says.

experience. It is not true that women who had a c-section are more at risk to experience PND. The illness is just as common among women who had their babies naturally. “This risk factor is more about an expectation that differs from the eventual reality.” before or during your pregnancy. of depression or anxiety. in the six months or year before the birth. This includes moving house, or town, or getting a new job.

The death of a family member or a hijacking are examples here but anything that was experienced as traumatic could be a trigger. breastfeeding and cost are problematic, she puts moms at ease: “Some of the generic antidepressants work wonders. But not enough research has been done to prove that the medication is not detrimental during breastfeeding.”

But she strongly recommends that you should not try to cure yourself and that you should resolve the question of breastfeeding while on treatment with your doctor.

Asked if our society has not become too obsessed with illnesses such as depression, and if we don’t often confuse fatigue – mainly as a result of our rushed existence – with depression, Emerentia answers: “The way in which we live today plays a role. But at the same time we are much more in touch with illnesses, especially those like depression. Having and raising a child is difficult. But to be deeply unhappy while you’re trying to care for your baby is something completely different.”

Her important message to moms: If you feel like you’re not cutting it, get help immediately!