Month 7: Bond before birth
You don’t have to wait for your baby’s arrival to get to know and love him. Bonding can start while you still carry him under your heart.
Parents can start bonding with their baby early in the pregnancy. All you need to do is spend a little time every day with your unborn baby, focusing on him, and you’ll be amazed at how easily a relationship begins to form.
Our brain and behavioural patterns develop as we grow in the womb. Embryologists believe that what happens to baby in the womb – touch, vibrations, movement, sound and light – can have a positive effect on him.
You have high hopes for your child, and the good news is that you can already start to stimulate your baby even before the birth. Who knows what difference a little bit of chat time will make to him reaching his future potential one day? Bonding can begin at any point during the pregnancy, but the most effective prebirth stimulation takes place in the second trimester, when all the basis structures and sensory organs are in an advanced stage. Even when the ears aren’t completely developed yet, babies can hear at 16 weeks. Your unborn baby hears your heartbeat, the sounds of your digestive system and the noises in your uterus. He can hear sounds of 60 to 70 decibels. No wonder that newborns often find the sounds of hairdryers and vacuum cleaners calming. The foetus can also hear your voice. At birth, your voice is already so familiar that even in the first few days, your newborn will attempt to turn his head in your direction when you speak.
Researchers say that the uterus is your baby’s first classroom.
They believe that if you influence your baby positively from the very beginning, it will have a good outcome in his later development and performance.
There is also evidence that emotional and intellectual development already happens in utero.
The biggest gift expecting parents can give their baby is to create a welcoming, loving environment. Bonding before birth is part of this. Bonding and stimulation also go hand in hand, and your baby will reap the benefit of your strong bond for the rest of his life.
REST AND RELAX
The best gift you can give your baby is to take good care of yourself. It is difficult to take good care of your baby if you don’t take care of you. It is therefore important that you have me-time to recharge yourself spiritually, emotionally and physically. Don’t regard this as work.
Your partner’s involvement is also important. They have their own special characteristics and lessons to teach baby. Set some time aside where you won’t be interrupted, in a tranquil place. You don’t always have to talk; just be together as a family. This is also good for your relationship with your partner.
SOUNDS
Your baby can hear the sounds of water flowing over your tummy as well as music from about a metre away and will react to it. Babies develop a preference for the music they hear playing in your environment. They will recognise it after birth.
CHAT TO BABY
This might sound a little weird, especially to the new partner. You might often talk to your baby, but partners can find it uncomfortable. Anybody can talk to the baby: brothers or sisters, or even the grandparents. Talk to your baby in the same way you would talk to any other loved one.
You could also read to your baby. All of this will strengthen the bonding process. Share your dreams and aspirations for his future. Keep him up to date with how you are preparing for his arrival. Describe his room and toys to him. This is how you begin to build good self-esteem. Your baby will know from early on that he is loved and that you are eagerly awaiting him.
EXERCISE
Specialised pregnancy exercise has so many benefits. Not only will you be kept fit and healthy, but your baby will also benefit. Movement is something that developing babies really enjoy.
He will be aware of changes in your movement from fast to slow, as well as changes in direction, for example up and down. Your posture and the way you move is important to your baby’s development. He will learn to make sense of patterns of movement, and it can be reassuring if movement is regular and rhythmical. Movement can help your baby feel safe in the early months.
The rhythmic way you rock him in your arms after birth mimics how you moved when he was still in the womb. You’ll do this instinctively. In utero, these movements help your unborn baby’s vestibular system and senses develop, especially after the 26th week of pregnancy.
Other advantages of exercise during pregnancy is that your baby will get more oxygen, and as you get fit and healthy, your baby gets strong too. This will help him to handle the birth better, however things turn out.
Endorphins are produced in large quantities while you exercise, and your baby will enjoy the feel-good hormones as much as you do. If you move to music, describing what you do as you move, your baby will also learn.
Good pregnancy exercise classes will make use of all the opportunities for learning through movement.
IN YOUR MIND’S EYE
Visualisation allows you to show your baby what you are busy with and why. See in your mind’s eye how you want the birth to happen. Visualise this every day, and share the vision with your baby.
MAKE CONTACT
Initially you can begin to focus your thoughts on your baby. After that, your emotions will follow. Let love, hope and peace flow from you to your baby. These thoughts and feelings can cause the release of feel-good hormones such as serotonin to reach your baby in the womb. Your baby will know that he is loved.
TOUCH
From as early as five weeks, the embryo is sensitive to touch. It is the first sense to develop.
As your baby grows and develops and his muscles get stronger, he will begin to touch everything around him – his own body, the umbilical cord, membranes and the placenta. If he has a twin, they will touch each another.
From month five you can begin to stimulate your baby through touch. Soft touch will encourage your baby to react by moving closer to your hands or even kicking playfully. Partners seem to love this one! When you touch your bump or massage it, use some oil that is suitable for pregnancy, so your hands can glide softly over your tummy. This will help with stretch marks too.
GOOD HABITS
If you sleep and rest enough, eat well, avoid bad habits and stress, you let your baby know that you are intent on giving him a healthy body to grow in. These habits don’t start after the birth, but already during pregnancy. Good posture means that your baby has space to move, you have more space in which to breath and you will look taller and more self-assured. Your back will also be less likely to hurt if you maintain good posture. When you look good, you feel good. Baby will experience this with you.
RELATIONSHIPS
Cherish the relationships you have with the people who will be important in your baby’s life. Your baby needs family and will learn many lessons in life from the people who are close to him. If you feel loved and safe, your baby will experience it too.
The emotional lessons your baby learns before birth and the messages he gets from you will help you form a remarkable bond with your child that he will carry with him for the rest of his life. ●
Talk to your baby in the same way you would talk to any other loved one.