Females have it covered for babies

IN case you’ve missed it, the High Court in South Africa has ruled that men are now entitled to four months’ paternity leave.

Yes readers, four whole months off for what was probably a five minute job!

Government employees have been rolling like that for a couple of decades already; go to the office and look for the ON switch on the fax machine for half an hour and then take half a year’s sick leave, but this new ruling is aimed at the private sector and in the real world, things don’t work like that.

The stats say more than 30% of Bananaville’s population is 18 years and younger, so you only need to be able to count on your fingers to work out that South Africans put rabbits and rats to shame when it comes to breeding.

I foresee some men working only eight months a year, every year, for a good part of their productive lives.

Why would any man in his right mind want to take paternity leave? And for a whole four months?

The High Court didn’t stipulate how this baby holiday must be proportioned, but imagine spending two months in close contact with a highly pregnant, highly irritable and finely-strung woman, followed by another two months changing soiled diapers and wiping vomit off everything, while getting just 20 minutes of sleep a night.

Do you really want to put yourself through that?

Are men even able to do that? I don’t think so.

Men are useless when it comes to pregnant women and newborn babies, and that’s not my opinion but what nature decided.

If nature wanted men to have paternity leave, it would have concocted the whole baby making process in such a way that men play a bigger role than just that initial five minutes, and somehow made it possible for the baby to be passed on halfway through the nine-month term.

But nature didn’t because it knew your average man can hardly look after himself in a responsible manner, let alone a baby.

He will either forget the child at the fishing waters, under the car, or at his friend’s house.

The courts, no matter how high they are, shouldn’t dictate to nature how to run things because nature has been doing just fine for the last gazillion years.

However, lately it seems to be hell-bent on changing how things work, even wanting to tell us whether people are male or female.

Nature says if it was born with a toolbox, it doesn’t matter if it decides to get rid of it.

It’s still a male, just more useless than before because without a toolbox it has no purpose at all.

The courts will do much better if it focuses on the men who make babies but don’t want to take responsibility for them after that five minutes it took to perform the deed.

There’s way too many of those out there and, with this new ridiculous High Court decision, I can just imagine that more men will be making more babies because they want four months’ leave.

Four months they will spend doing nothing of what a pregnant woman must and can do.

Luckily women have it covered. All of it!