The wheels of the bus go round and round

WHEN I’m not fulfilling my civic duty by telling you how absolutely useless, inept, corrupt, mentally challenged (I can fill this whole page with adjectives) many of our government members are, I write about cars.

Like politics, motoring is a sensitive subject and therefore I cannot outright say that car X is a piece of rubbish, just like I cannot outright say that a particular minister who likes wearing hats is a complete idiot. But I like to think that regular readers know when to stay well clear from a certain vehicle by reading between the lines, so to speak.

And that brings me to electric vehicles, or EVs for short.

Whether we like it or not, the ‘last round’ bell has rung for the internal combustion engine and, if you believe everything you read in the media, we will soon all be whizzing around in a selection of ice creamcoloured EVs while humming Kumbaya because life is awesome.

Well, this motoring journo isn’t buying into all that nonsense because, if I just add a tiny splash of common sense, EVs are not the saving grace we think they are.

Even without bringing the tragedy that is Eskom to the equation, the numbers just don’t add up, especially in a third world country like ours where the government is leaving no stone unturned in its quest to have us return to Neolithic times.

The cheapest proper EV currently available in the land of empty promises and corruption costs just under R700K.

That sticker puts it out of reach of about 90% of current car owners, myself included.

And as is common knowledge, we will soon barter with beans as our currency gets destroyed by Squirrel and Co, so things are not going to get any cheaper.

Even if someone figures a way out to produce a respectable EV at half that price, by the time we get it, we’ll not be able to afford to even fantasise about buying it.

So when the global ban on fossil fuel-powered cars kicks in – at this stage it’s pencilled in for 2040 – driving yourself to the beach will be just another aspect of life belonging to the ‘good old days’.

I just cannot see every person driving his own car today, right here in a place like Zululand, still doing so 17 years from now, no matter how wildly I let my imagination run.

The CEO of Backhander PTY

Ltd might be able to buzz around in the latest electrical appliance from Volvo, and the GM of Corruption R Us, but we, Joe Public and friends, will be faced with some serious challenges when wanting to travel from A to B when B is further away than we’re able to cover on foot in the future, especially here in Bananaville.

I foresee fossil fuel-powered cars rusting away in garages because you simply cannot get fuel for them anymore, because the manufacture of it was banned, and the little bit left over is more expensive than liquid gold.

What then?

The only viable option I can think of is a vast public transport system which is, dare I say it, reliable, efficient and safe to use.

That I can also not see happening in our dark part of the world, ever!

So what other options do we have if we’re not going to all be zipping around in Teslas or something made by Russell and Hobbs with wheels? Horses?

Imagine that!

My logic tells me there just isn’t enough raw material available to manufacture enough lithium or whatever they need for these smart batteries, to make a practical green vehicle for everyone currently owning a dirty car.

There might be enough child labour to extract it, but raw product; no way.

We’re without a doubt entering interesting times.