30 000 reasons forced equality will crash

It was with utter disbelief that I recently watched a news interview in which the CEO of a commercial airline set out the progress his company made as far as equality goes.

This overpaid plaster saint sat there, vomiting words like 'diversity', 'fairness' and 'disadvantaged' at the camera, with the straightest of hypocritical faces.

And he was referring to the pilots, not the barf bag suppliers for when turbulence gets really bad.

Now call me a male chauvinist, right wing, broken wing, or just a wingnut if you like, but besides the Almighty, anybody who’s going to take me 30 000 feet up in the air better be the absolute best of the best of the bloody best.

Not because his or her mamma said so to make them feel special, or someone decided to take pity on them, but because they’ve been trained and tested by the best and proven irrefutably that they really are the damn best there is for taking people as close to heaven as many will ever get.

If he or she, or even it for that matter, doesn’t turn me into a splatter of blood on a school’s roof, I cannot give a bubonic plague invested rat’s rear end what colour, or gender the pilot is, or whether he or she or it grew up under a cardboard box instead of a mansion.

Really, this equality thing is being taken way too far, and not just too far up into the air, but everywhere.

Why are there so many female police officers these days?

Yes, I understand that about half the population consists of about half men, half women with some genderconfused folks in between, but have you ever heard of an all-female gang of cash-in-transit robbers?

Or a female house invader?

He was hijacked by a busty 20 year old in a miniskirt and stilettos, wielding an AK47…?

Never, because almost all violent crimes are committed by the sausage brigade.

In this country, sending female police officers out on patrol must surely be the woke joke of the criminal world.

I blame Hollywood for this idiotic situation we find ourselves in because every show has to have women in it because sex sells.

Cagney and Lacey could keep pace like Florence Griffith Joyner when chasing after a fleeing suspect, and threw around house kicks that would’ve made Chuck Norris feel vulnerable, but the police women I see staking out the meat pie counter at Checkers are not in the fictional action drama class.

In fact, my guess is that some are a danger to themselves and the public, and probably a liability to the male police officers they’re partnered with.

There was a time when you weren't rewarded for merely being there and having participated.

If you didn’t come first you lost, and if you didn’t win it meant you had to practise or study harder, not crawl to some tribunal for gender, race or human rights equality because you’re too useless to run. It was what it was back then.

But I guess it is what it is right now, so buckle up next time you’re flying Equality Air, or have to call the steak and kidney force.