Courtroom capers

Q. Were you aquainted with the deceased?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. Before or after he died?

Q. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Q. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q. What happened then? A. He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’ Q. Did he kill you?

A. No.

Q. Mrs Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work

Q. What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

A. She is my daughter. Q. Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Q. Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

Q . ... and what did he do then?

A. He came home, and next morning he was dead.

Q. So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Q. Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities? A. He didn’t offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.

Q. Could you see him from where you were standing? A. I could see his head. Q. And where was his head?

A. Just above his shoulders.

Q. Do you drink when you’re on duty?

A. I don’t drink when I’m on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.