Daft rafts at Pego’s raceless race

A drenching in drag? Soggy Spidermen? Rivers of madness and mirth flood the Pego marshes this weekend for the annual Baixada al Riu boat run…

FANCY-DRESS parties: the social hell in psychedelic shades that dare not speak its name, sparking terror in introverts and usually disappointment in extraverts, since they normally just end up like any other mingling, buffet-munching, banal conversation session with too much to drink. With, naturally, the exception that the group around you having a punch-up over Brexit, comparing notes on how their Telefónica shares are performing or analysing how Barça did against Man City bear an uncanny resemblance to Red Riding Hood, snow-leopards and post-boxes.

Sometimes it’d be more fun just to be a fly on the wall. But even the novelty of that could wear thin after the first 10 minutes.

Unless it takes place on water. Freezing cold salty marsh water, which every single Muppet, Elsa-in-drag or pink fireman is guaranteed to land in with a resounding splash punctuated by swearwords in a minimum of two languages.

Mainly because their boats would struggle to make it across a full kitchen sink intact, never mind from the Pego-Oliva road junction down to the sea, and their so-called friends pelting oranges at them as they pass probably don’t help their quest much.

Being normal is overrated, after all. (And they say it’s the British who are eccentric?)

If it’s Schadenfreude you’re seeking, especially where the sufferers are actually putting themselves through it all for fun (maybe other people’s type of fun), take a picnic and chill out in the clean, orange-y, sea-y country air this Saturday and enjoy the spectacle from the banks of the river Bullent.

Known as the Baixada al Riu Bullent, translating more or less literally as ‘the going down of the river Bullent’, you can take the Baixada bit any way you please: ‘down’ towards the finishing line at the delta, or ‘down’ towards the bottom of the watery racetrack.

English-speakers refer to it as the Pego ‘raft race’, but nobody is known to have netted a trophy for being first past the finishing line; just getting within a kilometre of it probably means they cheated. Cash prizes for best costumes and themes are a carrot – and most go to town on their unseaworthy crafts, turning them into sofas, buses, bunk-beds and anything else capable of carrying a human, other than an actual boat – and also for the most environmentally-friendly floating contraption, although one might argue there are easier ways to earn a couple of hundred euros.

That said, the fact that most of the participants will have been celebrating with some liquid Dutch courage and a game of cards before embarking – and knowing that they may not even get much past the starting line before they’re swimming for it and wrapping themselves in towels – no doubt contributes towards keeping them nice and warm and softening the blow as they hit the water.

If you’re inspired to give it a whirl, check out the T&Cs on Pego.org ahead of next year’s, but until then, this Saturday afternoon promises excellent spectator sport, laughs aplenty (‘at’, not ‘with’) and fresh air.

It’s a warm-up (or cooldown) for Pego’s famous carnival the following Saturday (see next week’s Costa News for more on that), although participants will almost certainly need new costumes by then, as it’s unlikely their boat ‘race’ get-up will survive tomorrow’s ordeal.

Normally starting at noon (a flexible, Spanish ‘noon’), you’ll find the white-water, red-faced and orange-lobbing action at the bridge of the river Bullent in the Pego-Oliva Marjal. Take the Pego road out of Oliva, turn left where it’s signposted ‘Urbanització Monte Pego’, and at the first sharp bend, turn left again down a dirt-track and find a handy car-sized pothole to park in.

Pack some egg sandwiches, a flask of coffee and a camera, so that those who couldn’t make it will be able to enjoy it vicariously through Facebook.