Help and advice
Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine advises a woman who is struggling with arthritis and also a 23-year-old that has no friends.
I’m 23 nut don’t really have any friends
"Please help, I feel very isolated and lonely. I'm not particularly shy, I can talk to people - otherwise I wouldn't be able to do my job, and I have no problem in social situations when I DO get the occasional invite from my work colleagues.
"However, what I don't have is a circle of friends like my colleagues, who seem to have very active social lives. I don't do much with my spare time except read and run, which means I mostly must make do on my own.
"I have lost contact with everyone I knew from school and I have no family. I am only 23, so why haven't I got more friends?"
G. W. Fiona says: ‘Maybe it’s time to get proactive’
"I get the sense from your short letter that you seem to be waiting for friendships to happen, rather than actively working at it. I'm not saying you won't make friends by hanging back, but you'll certainly increase your chances if you get out there and try to meet new people.
"You can do this in any number of ways; clubs and societies, sport activity, further education or some sort of leisure-based course. It doesn't matter what you do, it will all depend on what your interests are.
"You mention running so, for example, rather than do that alone, how about joining a running club? The key thing is that it gets you out of your normal routine and into situations where you can meet new people who hopefully become potential friends.
"You might also consider being more proactive with your work colleagues. Here again, rather than wait for invites, organise something yourself and invite them to join you. They may claim to have very active social lives but, you never know, some of them may be just as lonely as you and are talking up their lives so they seem more popular than they really are."
Arthritis pain has left me so depressed
"I am 44 and have arthritis. Over the past year, the pain has got worse and more persistent, and this has made me very depressed. It's also meant that I have put on a lot of weight, which I know isn't good for me.
"I have tried to diet but it never seems to work, and now my husband and daughter have started to make a few sarcastic comments about me getting fat. They probably mean well but I am hurt by what they say.
"I feel that everyone and everything is against me. I think I need help but don't know who to turn to."
P. D. Fiona says: ‘Don’t lose hope’
"Coping with chronic pain is never easy, as it impacts every aspect of your quality of life. So, if you haven't already, please see your GP to discuss changing or improving whatever medications you are taking currently.
Then, once you've got the pain at a more manageable level, you should feel better able to tackle the weight issue.
"And you're right to want to do this because increased weight will certainly exacerbate the arthritis. That said, you'll struggle to lose weight if your family continues to undermine your efforts with sarcasm. Talk with them and explain that you find their comments hurtful, however well-intentioned they might be.
Then ask for their help and support.
"Finally, you may also find it useful to visit the Versus Arthritis website (versusarthritis.org) for information, advice and support. The charity provides a network of online community groups, where you can chat with other people managing arthritis and details of local groups."