IS MARRIAGE A DYING INSTITUTION?

“Idon’t believe in staying together till death do us part.” “I think that a couple must live together before marriage. I know of a bride who knew her fiance’s faults and still went ahead and married and is now not so happy.” “I know of couples who have big weddings but don’t think of living together day in day out.” These are some comments from different individuals who have given some thought to the institution of marriage. There are others who are caught up in marriages and dare not speak for fear that the Grapevine will spread the word that they are not happily married. From the age of eighteen, young people are attracted to the opposite sex and start thinking of getting married. There is no-one to tell them that marriage is a lifelong commitment not to be undertaken in haste. It is also wiser to have a couple of love affairs and learn to break up and make up and learn about oneself. Why wait till you get married to find out that one can be jealous and insecure? Young people also learn from the example of their parents who may not be happily married. That is another reason why they shy away from marriage. Often in Sri Lanka, parents do not speak frankly to their children, even if they are teenagers or young adults, about Love, Sex and Marriage. No wonder curious youngsters turn to the Internet or even Blue Films for Sex Education as they think. Sex is best in a relationship and one-night stands are not satisfactory since Casual Sex can even lead to AIDS or other sexuallytransmitted diseases. However, even in a long-term marriage, there can be infidelity with the couple simply considering living together even though they do not have sex since they have other partners. There are many marriages where the couple simply go together for weddings or funerals and live under the same roof even though they lead separate lives. Many marriages can do with some really good Counselling especially if they have lived together for many years and have settled down to a routine with each partner doing his or her own thing. Before marriage, the couple shared their thoughts and feelings along with kisses and cuddles and this can be continued after marriage and childbearing. A woman’s body changes with pregnancy and her mindset differs with the responsibility of caring for the baby. The husband too must grow and mature and both need to allow their marital relationship to incorporate the demands of children and still continue with their love affair! However, this is an ideal situation where two Soulmates marry and live together forever. In most cases, the institution of Marriage has fallen short with the couple not facing the ups and downs of life together. Regrettably, the institution of Marriage is now dying out.

I am doing free-lance research into Human Relations & The Family Unit and welcome frank comments and criticisms which could even be anonymous. Basically, I try to find out why people are unhappy and why so many are Just Plain Dissatisfied! You could contact me on weekdays on 011 2300552 or e-mail me on dailymirrorlife@gmail.com