THE INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY DEBATE

International Men’s Day was celebrated world over on the 19th of November, and along with greetings and celebrations online came the trolls, the negative comments and a barrage of thought pieces condemning the day. One piece in particular ruffled a lot of feathers.

“Don’t let hypocritical radical feminists turn men into a bunch of neutered, grovelling, blubbering doormats, ladies

– or we’ll ALL live to regret it” Piers

Morgan opined in a piece for the Daily Mail. He went on to defend “maleness” and “masculinity” against what he claimed was an attack by radical feminists. Morgan accused radical feminists of ‘gleefully’ hijacking the #Metoo and #Timesup movements ‘to serve their own man-hating purpose’, and of turning the abstract idea of masculinity into ‘the most controversial, detestable word in the English lexicon’.

While Morgan focused solely on “masculinity” which is but a microcosm of what the day entails, there have been individuals who denounced the day entirely.“if we go down the tit-for-tat route of giving everyone their specific events which were originally designed to celebrate those who don’t get their fair share of recognition, then we might as well set up a White History Month”

Miranda Larbi wrote in an impassioned piece that posited that men didn’t need a day. “We know how clever, impressive and dominating men have been throughout the history of civilisation, because that’s all we’re told about. Women’s achievements, on the other hand, aren’t celebrated the majority of the year – that’s why we need International Women’s Day.

International Women’s Day isn’t something that should be aped by men who have a completely different set of objectives and needs. Let us women have our one day and then we can return to celebrating men the other 364 days of the year.”

The arguments above do make valid points, to a very limited extent.

At a time when gender fluidity is being championed, Morgan is right when he claims that defending ‘masculinity’ and ‘maleness’ is enough to attract ‘all manner of global shame and ridicule’. But where he is wrong is in assuming unanimous man hating. Radical feminists are just that. Radical. Their ideations and demands are extreme and unrealistic, and their constant manhating is akin to that pestering fly you just can’t get rid of.

Masculinity is no longer the yardstick upon which maleness is measured. Many complex forces now come into play, and in this day and age where people are quick to take offense, there will be people who hate on men who proudly call themselves “masculine” and women who are “proudly effeminate”. Nevermind that these people don’t claim that - for instance - males who are effeminate are lesser males. But no, a witch hunt ensues nevertheless, resulting in twisting a simple statement into something that it never was in the first place. There is no denying that there will be people who refute the claim that an effeminate male is not a man. There will also be individuals who question why individuals must be classed into genders in the first place. But that’s just the point - we focus on so many tangents that we miss the bigger picture. We should all have the freedom to be ourselves, unapologetically. Irrespective of which part of any spectrum we identify with.

But these factors do not discount the fact there there are very real issues that must be tackled. We as a society need to collectively focus on the bigger picture. Current research tells us that: men have a suicide rate 3 times higher than women, 1 in 3 men have been the victims of domestic violence, men on average die 4-5 years before women, men are nearly twice as likely to suffer from lung cancer than women and men are nearly twice as likely to suffer from heart disease than women. Being cognizant of the fact that these are severe issues facing men in 2018 does not, in any way, diminish the issues facing women.

Of course we need to celebrate each other everyday. But celebrating designated calendar days for genders, sexuality and various other causes is equally important to drive dialogue on issues faced. In an ideal world these issues will be tackled with sensitivity and urgency as they appear. But this is not an ideal world. Problems get swept under the rug on a constant basis. Other times they are quickly forgotten as a new problem rears its ugly head. It is a vicious cycle we cannot seem to escape. A good place to start, however, is to stop serially sabotaging legitimate causes by focusing and nitpicking on the minute details or tangents, and to stop hijacking them to fulfill our own personal agendas.

Of course we need to celebrate each other everyday. But celebrating designated calendar days for genders, sexuality and various other causes is equally important to drive dialogue on issues faced. In an ideal world these issues will be tackled with sensitivity and urgency as they appear. But this is not an ideal world