MONKEY TALKS

Oh my good Lord honeys, I need to vent to you. I have been more than appalled at the trend of things happening in the island and confess that I dread opening a newspaper or a news site each morning. The tragic and bad news that hits me between my now flourishing jungle on my brow is too much to handle and I dive right back into the wilderness. Of the happy news, however, is that the Gumment that was, thought very kindly of the welfare of the poor monkeys, gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans, apes and other animals who have a link with human evolution in the zoological gardens and moved them to a pleasant little island in the middle of the Diyawanna Oya in Colombo. They can now move freely. I remember with a sigh, a time when the very same place was a serene property that housed for most parts of the day, representatives of us people, from every part of the country, who we stood in the hot blazing sun in queues to vote for, that they may fly past us in their Duty free cars on a later date, with perhaps a slight twitch of the wrist in acknowledgement. The over dramatic clasp of the palms slightly to the left or right of a shoulder is only for podiums, and stages after all. I remember those nostalgic times when the grandeur of the inner chambers was almost holy and august, where one tread with respect, and dignity, where discourses, dialogues and discussions were devoid of slander and insult. I remember the speeches that were even educative informative and even, humorous. The members adhered to proper conduct within and outside The plush red carpet was walked on by gentlemen of the highest calibre. Ah! Those were the days!! Those were times of the highest oratory. Hansards were read and referred to with interest, even quoted in social circles over sips of wine. Those were the days my friend, those were the days!! On the other hand, the last lot of representatives who warmed those chairs were a vociferous bunch. I think only the old did not indulge in a typical Sri Lankan version of a “bajaw” where everyone fights with everyone else, bottles fly, and furniture is ripped apart. There were, I was told, in addition, invited foreign envoys in the Visitors’ Gallery who witnessed the launch of UFOS, Bibles and other particles in the air which were later mentioned in passing, as a popular and refreshing beverage!! Miracles happen in that place. Liquids turn into powder and vice versa. The invited foreigners were unable, however to understand the Greek and Latin exchanges on the floor as the translators had either fled the scene or under their tables. It was not a pretty sight at all to see police officers being pummeled. You see I’m not accustomed to that. It is usually we who are pushed by the Khaki clad. Thank goodness the authorities decided to get rid of the representatives and gave the pave over to the simians instead. They would now have the best of the Banana Republic (hic) and we on the other side of the water can view their monkey tricks. Did you know that a lot of monkeys are called a “troupe” and also a “Mission”?? I have finally got the gist of that bit of information. So these are Monkeys with a Mission? And you and I are responsible for them !! Thus honey, I would suggest that you remain glued to your nice comfy couch, now that the weather Gods are also in bad moods nowadays, and keep your little forefinger on those remote control buttons. Keep flicking, sap in all the latest news of the monkeys on the island. I am doing the same. Cheerio then till next time.

I REMEMBER THOSE NOSTALGIC TIMES WHEN THE GRANDEUR OF THE INNER CHAMBERS WAS ALMOST HOLY AND AUGUST