Making memories, creating TRADITIONS
And as the children observe us donating to the poor, it inculcates important values that I want them to have as adults
Traditions are essential components that help strengthen the existing bond between individuals in a family. They can be likened to the superglue that runs through generations as these traditions are passed on. As a child, I used to love the little personal family traditions that my parents had; early morning winter walks with my Dad, Tuesday night waffles and watching hindu movies on a Wednesday with my mum. They were not extravagant or fantabulous, but as a child, I thoroughly enjoyed spending and sharing those moments with my parents. Now with a young family of my own, we are slowly building our own traditions. By having these quality filled moments with your children, you are giving them the uninterrupted attention that they crave. Children need certainty and knowing that such an event is going to happen gives them perspective in their little lives and makes them feel safe.
Traditions generally can happen at any time during the year, but in the holidays and especially at Christmas, when the whole family has gathered around, this is a good time to set your own family traditions and rituals. These traditions benefit both younger children as well as older children. Do not think that because your children are teenagers they have grown out of the Sunday morning pancakes. To them, despite their teenage moody blues, these activities are what family means to them. Here are some specific reasons why it is important, as parents, to make an effort into creating such family traditions:
1
FEEL GOOD FACTOR:
Having these positive moments with your children results in happy individuals all around. In our house, making the annual Christmas cookies is a treat for the kids, they love to stir the cookie dough and decorate the cookies after. It’s one of our family traditions. My kitchen is filled with children’s chatter and a few squabbles, but at the end of the exercise, we all come away with a warm glow and I am happy to know that I created this wonderful childhood memory in my children’s lives.
2
A SENSE OF BELONGING:
As a family we all live under the same roof, as parents we are obligated to provide for our children until they are independent, but it is also important to make children realise that they belong to your particular family. This is also very important for as they grow up to be teenagers with other external influences of friends, they might start to lose their family belongingness.
When putting up the Christmas tree, I insist that everyone is there with their own handmade decorations to put on the tree. The carols are playing we have cookies to eat; it’s a warm and rosy family tradition.
3
IMPART YOUR VALUES:
Also by having traditions that you do together as a family, you are able to impart the values that you uphold to your child. During the Christmas season, it is definitely a time for giving, and as the children observe us donating to the poor, it inculcates important values that I want them to have as adults; feelings of empathy towards the less fortunate. Make giving to charity a family tradition in your household.
4
SENSE OF SECURITY:
By belonging to a family that is close and does a lot of activities together, children develop a sense of security. So in times of trouble, they are able to turn to the family rather than elsewhere. As children grow older, issues in school, issue with friends are all characteristics of the growing up phase. If you have a strong relationship with your child, they are sure to turn to you for help or advice and since you have their best interests at heart, you can guide them on the right path. This doesn’t apply only to children, even as adults, if we have good relationship with our parents we still seek their help, for they provide us with security and comfort.
5
FAMILY CONTINUITY:
By establishing your own family traditions, you also borrow from what you learnt as a child. For example, I still do pancakes on a Sunday, which my mother used to do, and I teach my daughters how I make pancakes. It’s a simple little act but one that will pass through generations, for I hope they will spend flour-covered, batterdripping moments with their children surrounded by love, just as I did.
However tedious and time consuming you feel this exercise is, it is a very important one to follow through. It is not enough providing your child with all the basic essentials of food and shelter she or he needs, you also need to provide for their mental state as well. To grow wholesome, happy individuals that you can be proud of starts with your effort, and creating family traditions is the first step. So this Christmas time, take a few moments, and start a family tradition. The rewards will be bountiful. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.