A great boss and true friend

It is nine months since Barbara Gunasekara passed away, and it is fitting to pay tribute to her on her 89th birth anniversary which falls on July 22.

I had known Mrs.Gunasekara for over four decades. She was the Principal of St. Paul’s Girls School Milagiriya. She was my boss – whom we all respected and stood in awe of, but she was also a true friend. It was amazing that this lady who walked the corridors of St. Paul’s like a colossus could also be so humane and display such immeasurable kindness, concern and generosity.

My association with her goes a long way back and continued even after retirement and the bond extended to her daughter Sharmini and her family who always made me feel at home whenever I dropped in to see Mrs. G. Incidentally when Mrs. Gunasekara retired she tried very hard to get me to call her “Barbara” instead of the formal Mrs G – such was her simplicity! But I just could not comply, as to use it, was tantamount to disrespect – and so, much to her disappointment she continued to be Mrs. G!

There are so many memories connected with her, especially for those of us who had the good fortune to accompany her on trips to Uda Walawe, Kataragama and other places.

Talking of memory, hers was photographic, she was so aware of things and she remembered dates, incidents etc and would often jog our memories when we failed to recollect these things.

She never forgot birthdays and important events in the lives of those close to her. I was fortunate to fall into that category, and every year she was among the first to wish me on my birthday and visit with a well thought of gift, to wish me personally except at the very end when ill health prevented her from doing so.

As a person she was generally calm and unruffled and rarely lost control. Once when there was a bomb scare in the school, all the teachers ran looking for shelter. Fortunately there were no girls present and it turned out to be a false alarm as it was some chemical reaction that had resulted in the crackling sound when the lab was being cleaned out! Mrs. G remained calm and managed to restore order once again.

The one time I saw her visibly angry was when, while working in the office another teacher Gulnar and I noticed how untidy her table was, with papers, files, books, etc strewn all around and decided to bring a semblance of order to it in her absence. But we never bargained for her reaction when she came in and found that she could not lay her hands on a particular crumpled piece of paper, since we had moved things around in our efforts to organize her otherwise chaotic table. She never said a word to us but she looked like a thundercloud about to burst and we went weak at the knees! Anyway, we got the message and swore never to touch the things on her table ever again!

Mrs.Gunasekara touched the lives of many people, her students, teachers, parents and others. Her kindness, generosity, sympathetic nature and hospitality were beyond measure. She was always ready to reach out and help someone in trouble.

She respected all religions – being profoundly religious herself, she never hesitated to storm the heavens on behalf of those near and dear to her whom she felt in need of divine intervention to solve a problem, and she would assure them that God would take care of everything, such was her faith. She was above all, a caring human being and this quality of hers has rubbed off on her only daughter Sharmini – her pride and joy.

Mrs. Gunasekara was not born a Sinhalese, but she was Sinhalese to the core, observing all the customs and traditions of the Sinhalese. Her Sinhala was no doubt faulty and never ceased to amuse not only us, but even the people on the road who were entertained when she addressed the School Assembly in Sinhala from the balcony overlooking Dickman’s Road! But she got her point across and that was what mattered.

She always wore saree and her modesty was evident in her half lined jackets which always intrigued us.

Mr. Gunasekara – her Daya – who hailed from Matale would no doubt have been proud that his beloved “Barbie” upheld and observed the culture and customs of a traditional Sinhala family. Theirs was a marriage made in heaven and they were deeply devoted to each other, Mr. Gunasekara’s passing away left her devastated, but she managed to pick herself up and carried on with resil- ience. Her faith in God helped her through these difficult times.

Mrs.G was deeply committed to her family, and took her responsibilities very seriously. On occasions when Sharmini had to be away from home fulfilling her duties as a mother and grandmother, her husband Bertram became Mrs. G’s responsibility, and many times she has told us that she can’t leave the house because she has to look after Bertram, although we knew very well that it was vice versa and Bertram in his inimitable quiet manner was a source of strength to his mother-in-law.

I know Sharmini and her boys, Janek and Dhanika will miss her and the void in their home can never be filled. Janek in particular was his grandmother’s prime concern, but she was equally proud of both grandsons. When Dhanika presented her with her first great grandchild she was ecstatic and eagerly looked forward to meeting them at Christmas. But fate decreed otherwise, and sadly she missed out on holding that little bundle of joy in her arms.

Those of us who were close to her will miss her too. We will miss the friendly chats and the jokes we shared. Above all we will miss her on July 22nd when we used to gather at No.6. Swarna Road, to wish her on her birthday and enjoy the open hearted hospitality extended to us.

So farewell dear Mrs. Gunasekara – rest in peace. You will always be in the hearts of those who loved you and whose lives you touched in some way or the other.