She soothed my heart

I called her Shifadhatha and she was like a mother to me. When I had problems, she would give me advice that would soothe my heart. Her lovable qualities are shared by her five siblings.

Shifadhatha was always very soft-spoken. Even to her domestics, she was so caring and concerned about their wellbeing. Whenever I visited her she was always so bubbly and concerned about my husband and children, inquiring about their progress. I do not think there will be another golden lady like her now or in the future.

If I had to relate everything about her, 24 hours would not be enough. I pray to Allah Subuhanahuwa Tha’ala that she will attain Jennathul Firdous.

It's a year since the passing away of my mother-in-law, Doreen Esmee Vitarana on September 8, 2015.

Every human being is unique. And, there are a very few whose lives will profoundly impact the lives of others in unforgettable ways. When such people touch our lives we are blessed because their positive influence is permanent. My mother-in-law was one such gracious and admirable human being. Her love and company will be missed forever.

Our hearts are full of affection, gratitude, appreciation and honour for her. She was a devoted wife, caring mother, lovable grandmother and a very good friend to all.

Born to Joseph and Freeda Ranasinghe, she had two elder sisters Sheila and Renee. She began her education at Holy Family Convent and completed her studies at St Bridget's Convent, Colombo. She married my father-in-law, Nihal Vitarana and was a great support to him when he worked in Sri Lanka and also in Dubai for 17 years.

When the children were in school, she lived in Colombo ensuring that the household ran smoothly and they were well cared for. Wherever possible, she would travel to Dubai to be with her husband. However, when the children completed their studies, she spent more time in Dubai. Both family and friends in Colombo and in Dubai adored her. Her culinary skills were par excellence and she was also a great host, a hallmark of her character. One would not ever visit her home in Colpetty or in Dubai and return without having tucked into a mouthwatering meal prepared by her while enjoying her company.

She treated all alike. Be it her three children, her sons-in-laws or her daughter-in-law. She kept the family bound together. Her traditional Sunday lunch was one we all looked forward to. The menu she meticulously planned throughout the week with much care. Unless someone had a valid reason for not attending or a family member was overseas, it was mandatory for the close family to have Sunday lunch at her home. It was a much-loved practice she devotedly continued until the week of her demise.

Though she was the youngest of the three sisters, she performed the role of the matriarch. She hosted family for birthdays and other functions and most importantly she hosted the Christmas dinner also for the extended family for years. It was an event no one wished to miss. She was a devout Catholic who went to mass every Sunday, but never imposed her beliefs, even where her closest family were concerned. She practised compassion towards other beings to the last letter.

Everyone felt welcome in her home and there wasn't a single day that she didn't greet one with her infectious smile and lovable personality. She had an admirable ability to relate both to the young, of every age group and with the not so young and also those socially affluent but mostly to those not. If one had a personal issue they would seek out and confide in "Aunty Do" as she was better known. And, those who did were assured of valuable advice and a strong hand of support.

She also had an adventurous side to her. Having travelled to all continents, her most memorable was the overland camping trip she embarked on with her husband. For over 30 days they travelled in their new car from England to Sri Lanka, through most countries in Europe, the Middle East and Asia, and also the infamous Khyber Pass. The memories of this trip, she cherished forever.

She was a very good pianist and enjoyed classical music and opera. As members of the Colombo Symphony Orchestra, she and my father-in-law seldom missed a performance. They had a wide circle of friends some of whom were much younger in age, but loved her company. My father-in-law was an ardent cricket fan and having watched the game of cricket with him, she developed a rare knowledge of the game. Her knowledge used to surprise many her age and even those younger. In her free time she used to sew as she was an excellent seamstress but mostly she enjoyed her crocheting and was a master of the art. This kept her busy and there was never a moment when she lay idle.

Over the years, she kept in touch with her sewing group and her old Bridgeteen friends whom she met monthly. She kept her interest in these groups even though most of the friends bowed out silently due to age and illness.

With her kind, caring qualities she never showed her true age. Her life was rich and complete. Hers was a life most would have loved to live. A life not measured merely by material comforts, but of basic human qualities that she displayed and shared with others that brightened many lives. We are all honoured to have been part of her life. And, part of a family.

Mummy, we will miss you so much, but you will always remain in our hearts forever.