Thank you Dada for your unconditional love

It’s been two years since you left us. You had a lot of dreams and wishes which you wanted us to fulfil. As your beloved children and grandchildren we tried our best to fulfil each of your dreams and wishes one by one. I still remember I used to tell you “Achchi Ammi there is a long long way more for you to go” when you said you were getting old. But life is such, that death did part you from us, leaving us miserable, lonely and sad. Though we were determined to make your dreams come true, we all needed time Achchi Ammi. Because except for me, all your grandchildren are still too young. Meha and Dini’s scholarship, Avinash’s O/L examination, Malik’s A/L examination, Manisha’s job at a standard organization and finally my marriage were included in your dream list. But we all needed time which you didn’t have. You had such a loving heart but all you needed was time which none of us were able to give to you.

And here I am, a wife in my own home. My wedding day was the best day of my life. But staring at the crowd I kept missing you so much Achchi Ammi. But I know for a fact that from up above you would look at me and be happy for me.

None of my cherished childhood memories is ever recalled without a sweet memory of you. From the day I was born, you

My mother passed away on December 31, 2006. It has been 10 years since her death, but for my brother and me, it seems like it was yesterday. She was not ill nor had she suffered from any heart issues. Amma’s death was sudden and came as a great shock to us and everyone who knew her. I had just turned 30 and was not prepared for a life without my mother.

In the last 10 years, whenever anything good or bad happens to my brother or me, we would wonder what amma would say, what amma would do and in good times we wish she was there to share our joy and in bad to comfort us in our pain.

My mother was a kind and compassionate person. She would always remind us of the importance of sharing and helping others who are in need whether its food, clothing, toys or our books. When we would visit Balapitiya, amma’s hometown, she would encourage us to do everything we can to help the less fortunate children.

She was a sociable person and made friends wherever she went. People identified with her kind and warm nature. I used to marvel at how she managed to keep in touch with all her friends.

She was a wonderful pianist and had a lovely singing voice. She had performed at concerts when looked after me so dearly that my parents would have felt very lucky to have you. I’m sure all your children felt the same because all your grandchildren were brought up and groomed so well by you.

I learnt English while being a student in your English class and every word I pen here proves how well you taught me. It was the weekend which my brother and I together with our cousins, loved the most. Your mouth-watering dishes we will never forget. It’s not only your delicious food we miss. We miss your grandmotherly affection which we enjoyed so much, we miss worshipping you and receiving your blessings, we miss the good feeling of gifting you a present, we miss wishing you happy birthday and seeing the happiness in your eyes and most of all, we miss your presence with us Achchi Ammi.

Your beloved son Milinda, your loving daughters Dilumini, Sepali and Geethani are still shedding tears. They together with us, held an alms giving so that all the merit gained will be received by you. You will be remembered in our prayers the same way you prayed for each and every one of us. Deep in our hearts you will always stay loved and remembered. May your gentle soul rest in peace in the Lord who you served so faithfully.

Yasendri (Grand-daughter) she was a young girl, having completed all the Trinity College exams. Her father had bought her a piano as a child, which was one of amma’s most treasured possessions.

Amma was a strong and determined woman. She rarely complained about the troubles that came her way, I admired that about her. She was a great believer in rising against the adversities in life and circumstances that stood her way.

From a young age, amma instilled the importance of learning and reading in us. I remember the countless Saturdays where my brother and I would learn and recite a list of words, with spellings and the meaning of the words. We would do this every Saturday. As kids we used to think of it as a chore, but I am so grateful to amma for helping us develop our vocabulary and perfect our spellings.

Amma was always encouraging and at the frontline to cheer us on. Despite having a job, she never missed a school event. She was always with her camera, taking as many photographs as the camera roll would allow.

We were blessed and fortunate to have her as our mother and I know that we will miss her every day for the rest of our lives. My Darling Dada, You’ve gone but the memories are overwhelming. It feels so unreal to walk into our home and not find you doing your favourite things: listening to SLBC news, singing along to golden oldies, sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of tea, asking how my day was and questioning the little details. Your seat at the head of our table is now empty but you were such a strong presence in our lives that I will always see you there.

Dada, you were an inspiration not just to your closest family, but to every single person you met. Since your premature departure people from many walks of life extol your virtues. They were inspired by the way you lived your life - a man of action, if something had to be done you would make sure it was done to the best of your ability overcoming all odds. Despite being visually impaired for half your life, you never questioned or complained about your disability, nor used it as an excuse. With you Dada nothing was impossible and as you always said – the sky was the limit. That final week at home, holding my hand, you said you were proud of me and that I was a very strong-willed girl; what I did not say to you at the time, as I was too emotional, was that it was you that made me strong and confident. You led by example and taught me to stand up for what I believe in, speak my mind, fight for justice and always look after the less fortunate. You were the most unselfish person my sister Karen and I have ever known, literally giving the shirt off your back to help someone in need and we were so fortunate to have you as our father.

As all fathers and daughters do, we have had some disagreements over the years, but your wonderful unconditional love for us always prevailed and you never stopped caring for or thinking about us. I remember if Mama or one of us was ill, you would be so upset, constantly checking on our wellbeing, arranging doctor visits, transport etc. After we married and moved away from home, when Karen and I called you, you would always inquire what time we came home, advise us to get enough rest and take care of ourselves. Even on the very last day we were with you, your first question was if we had eaten that day.

Not only were you the best father to us, you were a father-figure to all those who came to you for advice. You genuinely cared and put your heart and soul into helping out any family member or friend who came to you for assistance. Dada you were a strong believer in the proverb “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;

For twenty years, you were a leading light at the Sri Lanka Federation of the Visually Handicapped singlehandedly changing the lives of thousands of people. Helping disadvantaged visually impaired people and uplifting their lives was the greatest passion in your life. When we asked you to slow down or take a break, you would say “No baba, I can’t... if I don’t help these people, who will?” Through your many initiatives you gave so many people new hope for the future. You founded the National Chess Association of the Visually Impaired, you were the President of the National Cricket Association of the Visually Impaired and held the position of Vice President in the World Blind Cricket Council for many years. One of the most amazing things you did while at the SLFVH was to form the choir in 1996. You brought together a band of dedicated visually impaired singers and turned them into a popular and well recognized choir in Colombo. The enthusiasm and zeal you showed for this project was simply amazing, you were the manager, PR person, transport coordinator, and compere in addition to playing a key role as senior tenor in the choir. There were numerous other projects you initiated during your time at the Federation, too many for me to mention here – but there is no doubt your legacy lives on in all the many self-employment projects you started, the jobs you found for people, and the educational opportunities you created.

We cannot thank you enough for everything you did for us Dada, I know that you were very proud of Mama, Karen and me, and we are all so proud of your achievements too. As a family, we’ve been through good times and bad, experienced the greatest highs and a few lows, but through it all the one constant was that we always prayed together. You and Mama relied on God for everything and we grew up seeing both of you practise what you preached.

The pain of losing you is too much to bear, and the day we had to say goodbye to you was the worst day of our lives. I know that you would want us to be strong, help each other and live our lives in the same way you did – fearless, courageous, and compassionate – and this is what we plan to do. I miss you terribly but I know that you are happier now; in the words of your favourite song – “touching the green green grass of home”, free from all pain and suffering, and best of all – you can see now! We love you forever Dada. Natasha Benedict