A Letter to you from

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

I was born as Norma Jean Mortenson in Los Angeles on June 1, 1926. My mother was emotionally unstable and frequently confined to an asylum, so I was reared by a succession of foster parents and in an orphanage. At the age of 16, I married a fellow worker in an aircraft factory, but we divorced a few years later. I took up modelling in 1944 and in 1946 signed a short- term contract with 20th Century Fox, taking my screen name as Marilyn Monroe. I had a few parts and then returned to modelling, famously posing nude for a calendar in 1949.

I do believe that whatever I did in my career and life, happened for the best and I learnt from every step. I was not successful in keeping myself intact, I more often lost myself in what I faced and I’m telling you the society will never let you be who you want to be. It will keep poking you with hot iron rods until you either withstand the pain or lose yourself in pain.

I’ve been through divorces over the years. I was ever so stupid, and I thought people could love me. Maybe they did love me or maybe I was just used. But many of my relationships did not go well. I was used as a sex symbol and even John and Robert Kennedy had affairs with me.

I was depressed and addicted to drugs. Oh you wouldn’t think my life was hard, you see the way you picture it, I have everything I want; fame and wealth and beauty. But that is not always what a human needs. I wanted love, care and attention. People used me for who I was in every way.

I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t. I was perfect and beautiful with everyone who wanted to be me. That isn’t love you fools, that’s just obsession. Don’t you confuse yourselves.

I began to attract attention as an actress in 1950 after appearing in minor roles in the “The Asphalt Jungle and All about Eve”. Although I was onscreen only briefly playing a mistress in both films, audiences took note of me, and I won a new contract from Fox. My acting career took off in the early 1950s with performances in Love Nest (1951), Monkey Business (1952), and Niagara (1953). I was celebrated for being voluptuous and for being the wideeyed charmer, I won international fame for the sex- symbol roles in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), How to Marry a Millionaire (1953), and There’s No Business like Show Business (1954). The Seven- Year Itch ( 1955) showcased my comedic talents and features the classic scene where I stand over a subway grating and the white skirt billowed up by the wind from a passing train. In 1954, I married baseball great Joe DiMaggio, attracting further publicity, but we divorced eight months later.

In 1955, I studied with Lee Strasberg at the Actors Studio in New York City and subsequently gave a strong performance as a hapless entertainer in Bus Stop (1956). In 1956, I married playwright Arthur Miller. I also made The Prince and the Showgirl, which was a critical and commercial failure, where Laurence Olivier was featured in 1957 but in 1959 gave an acclaimed performance in the hit comedy “Some like It Hot”. My last role, in The Misfits ( 1961), was directed by John Huston and written by Miller, whom I divorced just one week before the film’s opening.

With everything that happened in my life, I trusted no one but myself. I learnt to love and also hate. Many things have gone wrong so that I eventually appreciated the good things in life. I moved on and loved harder each time. I’ve been abused and hurt, there were times I never realised my worth. But when I did, I moved on and stopped the toxic things in life.

The sad part is, I was under depression and there was really no one except for a psychiatric to be there for me. When you know you have nothing to live for, you just don’t want to live anymore you see. I was under drugs and I only slightly remember what my final moments were like.

I was on a call and I knew for sure that no one really cared. I did cry for help, but who was I to anyone anyway. I was just like my mother. Insane. I was an insane unworthy woman, used and broken. I wanted to take my pills just to keep me alive, but maybe the pain was too much I decided to take extra. Just to ease the pain away. I don’t remember whether I wanted to live or whether I truly wanted solace, but I just stopped functioning. The pain did go away and I couldn’t breathe at a point.

I was suffocating and I couldn’t move, and felt dizzy at the same time. It was painful when I crashed on to the floor. I knew at that very moment, humanity will never realise what they did to me.

I only knew that I would finally be at peace.

If there’s at least a flake of genuineness or empathy, do not let a life go to waste. Be the light to someone’s draining life. Love, Marilyn Monroe Written by Devuni Goonewardene Email any comments, criticisms or feedback to devuni@gmail.com