A life lived with courage, generosity, compassion and love
Life’s journey is a winding road. One day you could tread a beautiful flower laden path with blue cloudless skies overhead, and the next day you could be on a hazardous trail with dark stormy skies above. Anyone conversing with the serene and gracious lady, Freda Wijayaratna, could not have guessed that she had faced challenges that any woman would find daunting at any stage of life.
Possessing charm and good looks, Freda was wed at the age of 18 to Newton Wijayaratna. They had a comfortable and happy life with five children born in quick succession. The couple travelled to Europe and USA in the 1950s enjoying good times. She was suddenly widowed at the age of 31, having to raise three daughters and two sons, the youngest only seven years old and eldest approaching teenage.
She faced the future admirably - with courage and fortitude. Owning her own home did help, but it was her strong faith and disciplined life, that enabled her to see her children through school years to adulthood and marriage. Three of them later settled in Canada and two in Australia. It was in the comfortable home of second daughter Kusum and son-in-law Dr Nihal Heenatigala that she lived for over 40 years in Australia.
Good health enabled her to travel and see children and grandchildren. For her 80th birthday some of the family enjoyed a Mediterranean cruise with her. She had 11 grandchildren in all, and had a close bond with them. They gave her 13 great-grandchildren!
I failed in my GCE A/L examination to get into the Peradeniya Engineering Faculty in 1968, and decided to prepare for the second attempt doing combined studies with my friend Kumar, who was her elder son. Since I had been a classmate of her younger son Naushad at Royal Primary School, I was already known to the family.
Her kindness and warm hospitality on my frequent visits will always stay in memory. I was treated by her like a family member, and her home at 321, Galle Road, Bambalapitiya was one I would walk into at any time. I found it was not only me, there always seemed to be others there! She was a faithful and trusted friend to a few ladies who sought her counsel and enjoyed her company. Given her large home and its location, it was no surprise that relatives visiting from outstations also found a haven there. Her daughters Shalini, Kusum and Damayanthi, possessing their mother’s charming ways, added to the warm glow in her home. They celebrated special family occasions inviting many to celebrations held at ‘321’.
What gave the home stability and calm was the foundation laid by her understanding of Buddhism. She did not care for showy religiosity but meditated on the noble precepts and practised compassion and generosity in her dealings with others. She volunteered with the Red Cross. During July 1983, with mobs doing their worst in her area, she provided safety and succour to numerous Tamil neighbours who were in a desperate plight. She also enjoyed strong friendships with Muslim and Burgher families living nearby. It was in January this year that my wife and I paid our last visit to see her in Melbourne. On our previous visits during the past 30 years, she had cooked tasty curries and sometimes even made us hoppers!
This time, she spoke fondly of her family, visits of children and grandchildren and showed us pictures drawn by greatgrandchildren. She talked of her life’s path and satisfaction of how she had coped. She was aware that her earthly journey would be reaching its culmination before long. She had no major ailments but knew well about impermanence. She had not used wealth for herself but spread it around the family and rejoiced in their wellbeing. We told her that her example, wisdom and serenity had impacted on a large circle of people. When she breathed her last recently, her family carried out her wishes for a quiet funeral. A life lived well, with dignity, courage, generosity, compassion and love had drawn to a close, and will spread its fragrance for many years to come.
Ranjan Abayasekara