Memories of a wonderful Thattha who meant the world to me
It’s been two years since you left us, but the void left by your absence is constant. Everything reminds me of you and your absence. I miss your constant guidance and humour. I miss your words of advice and encouragement, but most of all, I miss the loveliest man I knew.
I am still struggling to come to terms with losing you so suddenly and watching you drift away from us. It was the worst time. Darling Thattha, our lives will never be the same without you, but I know that you are out there watching over us and I feel your presence every day of my life.
I could never fully appreciate how crucial and central was your influence in my life, until you left us. I never realised how much I had relied upon your advice and guidance my entire life. You were my compass and my trusted adviser.
Thattha was the most resilient man I knew. When life’s adversities came his way, he always rose above them. I have never seen Thattha moping around or being defeated by hardships that came his way. He had an extraordinary ability to keep his wits in a crisis. He always saw opportunities and solutions never the obstacles or obstructions, despite how bleak or impossible the situation might have seemed.
Thattha had the most charismatic and infectious personality. It was hard not be attracted to his outgoing, witty and bubbly personality. He was a happy-go-lucky person and there was not a dull moment when he was around.
Thaththa would always tell us how important it was to be fair and kind to others, regardless of who they are or their status in life. He would regularly remind us to treat others well, especially the people in need as he would always say, ‘it is not by choice but by circumstance that they are in that situation.”
He was a hardworking and resourceful man. He never retired. At the age of 77, he was still carrying on the same way as he did at 50. He did not get tired of organising business matters, attending meetings, helping others and socialising. He never slowed down or took it easy. I was fascinated by his energy and zest for life. I used to find it amusing that almost 40 years his junior, I was not able to do half of what he did in a day. One of his favourite phrases were that one shouldn’t waste time and would constantly tell us, ‘kalaya nasthi karanna epa puthe (do not waste time). This phrase was embedded in my mind and whenever I find myself unfocused or distracted, to this day, his words would spring me into action.
I always felt that for a man of his generation, Thattha was a liberal thinker. In a country and a culture where it is considered important for a young woman to be equipped in culinary and domestic skills, Thattha placed education and career above all that. Thattha taught me that for a woman, getting an education, having a career and being financially independent was of paramount importance.
When I was a young woman, Thattha would advise me on how to manoeuvre the minefield, that is dating. He was so open and approachable which in turn made me feel comfortable and at ease in confiding in him about any issue including boys. He would always give sound and practical advice.
He encouraged me to have dreams and goals. He eagerly listened to my aspirations. He provided guidance and active encouragement to achieve my goals. It was his faith and belief in me which presented me with the opportunity for me to travel abroad to study. During the early years of my life abroad, I was so reliant on his letters of encouragement and advice. Thattha’s inspirational words and advice kept me going in a foreign country and helped me focus and work hard to achieve my goals.
Darling Thathe, you were a wonderful father and the best dad anyone could wish for. You were my confidante, my best friend and the person I admired the most.
Darling Thathe, our lives were so enriched by your wonderful presence. When you left us, it felt like all the light and sparkle had disappeared from our lives. Without you, our lives have changed completely but I know that you are always with us. I continue my conversations with you. Happy times we shared together always bring a smile to my face even when I miss you the most. We were so blessed to have you in our lives. Darling Thathe we love you forever and miss you every day. Until we meet again.