My Father, my constant inspiration
Though it was 19 years on July 3, since you left us, I must confess that I am at a loss of words when it comes to pen my appreciation of you. Thaththa, even after 19 years of absence of physical presence, I miss you more than words can say. It is with a deep sense of gratitude and grief that I pen these few words of what he meant to me since he was my best friend, my guru and precious father.
As I try to bring myself to write this to pay tribute to him, we are now without both parents (we lost Amma 19 months ago) who had given so much to us. Over the past, I have not felt his absence because I realized that every day I continue life as his daughter being true to all that he taught me in life, he continues to live.
We, your children have great memories of your relationship with Amma. Your family life was based on mutual understanding, trust, companionship, absolute transparency and caring for each other. You appreciated Amma for her contributions to bringing up the family, cooperated with her in her initiatives, and placed your confidence in her as your wife and the mother of your children.
You appreciated us for what we were and trusted us to the extent that unknowingly you built moral binding in us to be always uncompromisingly truthful to ourselves and never to break the trust of others. You taught us many lessons in life and these are written in our hearts. Your love, appreciation, trust among many things moulded us to be the children we are.
Thaththa, you said learning was the foundation which no one can take away. We are what we are because of you and Amma. You always told me to do my duty with dedication, commitment and integrity. This was but just one lesson that we repeatedly say. We grew up with your values and we are glad we did. We note with gratitude to you, the positive comments of others of our ability to go through life with zest, responsibility and honesty.
Thaththa, I know you would have been so proud to see what a contented person I am today all because of your guidance and advice. I miss your voice but most of all I miss you just being there. I will always hold on to the last conversation we had and how you never failed to let me know how much you loved me. Your spirit and what you have given us will always remain and make us better people for having had you as a great father.
The bond we had was unique. We enjoyed being together and I took an interest in whatever you did. You were my hero and I am deeply indebted to you for all the good things in life that you gave us. You gave us confidence to see through things. You taught us right from wrong. We thank you for many things you have done for us.Thaththa, I need you to guide me, to protect me and to love me the way you always have. Although, your demise has created a big void in our lives, you left us with sweet memories that we will cherish right through until we meet. No one can fill the emptiness I feel in my heart without your physical presence but I know your spirit is with me and pray that you will always be with me.With much love and gratitude, we honour your memory.
As practising Buddhists, we are well aware of the impermanence of life but to this day I cannot believe that my father is not alive as his voice, firm advice and imposing figure still haunt me. He did his duty to the utmost and made us comfortable in every way. Though not in extremes, he lived, according to Lord Buddha’s preaching with the least of wants and attachments. It is my sincere hope that his sansaric journey be shortened and he attains the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana with Amma right by his side.