To those joyous memories both here and abroad
It is now six years since Sudu Amma passed away, but her memory lives on in my heart and I am sure in many more hearts. Sudu Amma was a second mother to me from childhood, with us living downstairs and she, Nihal bhappa and my two cousins upstairs. I had to only go upstairs when I was bored or simply needed company, me being an only child.
Though she was part and parcel of my growing years, my most vivid memories of her are in later years. I believe this is because they had to leave Sri Lanka and make their home overseas when I was 12. This seemed to be heartbreaking at the time as they were a part of my day-to-day life, as we almost lived in the same house, with the connecting doors between the two being open most of the day. Nishana, or Nangi and I used to be at each other’s places for at least a part of each day.
I visited them in Hong Kong, on my way home on a break from university abroad, holidayed with them in Germany with Ammi on another occasion, and then in the latter years spent time with her in England at different times. Each of these visits holds special memories for me, together with the times we shared when they returned to Sri Lanka on holiday.
I remember the time in Hong Kong where I was extremely well looked after by her. This was my first holiday away without immediate family and strangely, my strongest memories of that holiday are of her, and not my cousins, who I was always very close to.
The only time in my life I have really enjoyed Thai green curry and red curry was when I went out to lunch with her to a Thai restaurant in Hong Kong. Looking back now, I see that it was merely being in her company which made the meal so nice! Another enchanting memory is going to see the giant Buddha statue. I believe this was a rare occasion when Sudu Amma ventured quite far from her lovely apartment to go sightseeing. She and Nihal bhappa were always homing pigeons, not keen to venture far from the safety and comfort of home! Home was such a lovely place with an unimaginably fantastic view of the Hong Kong harbour that it is no surprise that they were completely content to stay in!
I also remember going to Ocean Park, the big amusement park in Hong Kong with her and Nishana and climbing up to the park in a cable car. This was my first experience of a cable car, so it was a very exciting day, with much entertainment packed in. Another time, on a shopping spree, she most generously bought me many lovely sweatshirts. She was always such delightful and interesting company that time spent with her, especially chatting together, was high quality time. My stay in Hong Kong couldn’t have been more than four days…. but how packed with memories, love and laughter those few days were!
Sudu Amma made the most of her time in Hong Kong, teaching at the university there in continuation of her academic career, obtaining her PhD and even engaging in recreational activities such as aerobics. She always seemed to have the ability to live fully and make the best of whatever life offered, making lemonade out of lemons that came her way. She enjoyed literature and read widely. Her continuous love of reading probably contributed to making her the broad minded and free-thinking person she was, together with her being a member of the Ladies’ College family!
Reflecting on our childhood, Sudu Amma did not “take lessons” or even do syllabus revision with Nangi in preparation for end of term tests, to the best of my knowledge. I remember Nangi working hard, reading aloud from her notes and textbooks and doing very well, with self-driven ambition and goals. Sudu Amma did no spoon feeding, but instead encouraged independence in her kids and had faith that they would set their own pace, paths and goals in life. The ability to give not only roots, but also wings to one’s fond nestlings to fly away strong is indeed a great gift.
I have lovely memories of her in England too. At Regent’s Park, together with my elder daughter who was just a baby of two at the time, we all three thoroughly enjoyed the day. We started off with a snack at Lemoni’s, one of Sudu Amma’s favourite restaurants. It was one of those truly fantastic English summer days, with a bright blue sky above and nature at its best. The roses at Queen Mary’s Garden were spectacularly beautiful and we basked in the warmth of the sun. We had such a wonderful time, just enjoying nature in its full glory, lively, warm conversation and of course, baby’s antics. We had not noticed time passing, so much so that we ultimately had a grand finale of a burst pamper, courtesy baby! We laughed till we cried, and then composed ourselves sufficiently to do the needful! Such was the time spent with Sudu Amma - engaging, lighthearted, thought-provoking and of course, sometimes downright hilarious!
There were similar times, with another beautiful and memorable day in Cambridge with Sudu Amma, Sharanya and baby. Sharanya took us around the universities and we then had a picnic lunch overlooking a river. It would then have been unimaginable to think that in the not too distant future, both Sudu Amma and Sharanya would be taken away from us, so cruelly by cancer. Sudu Amma, I know that you thought that you had overcome your battle with cancer and had much hope and positive thoughts for life, even hours before you left this world. Such positive thinking, with a strong will to get the maximum and best from life is truly admirable and a trademark quality of yours.
You had much to offer life and life did give you a myriad of good times and happiness with a loving family, travels across the world and different spaces of the globe to make your home, the challenge of which you took on well and made into wonderful opportunities for personal growth and broadening of horizons. Of course, there were bad moments interspersed, as is common to all, which you took on gracefully.
May your samsaric journey be short and sweet and may you have less trials and obstacles and more happiness and inner joy on your road to Nibbana. You are fondly remembered and sadly missed - you certainly do live on in our hearts, with memories of many shared good times, joy and laughter. Till we meet again …..