A wonderful constant in my life is now lost forever
I did not get a chance to bid goodbye to my sister, Nalini, the eldest in our family of six siblings. Loku Akka, as we used to call her, and I had our usual weekly conversation on Saturday. We shared family news, lamented the state of the country, and laughed over a silly joke on YouTube. And shockingly, by Monday morning, barely two days later, on September 25, this vibrant human being was gone.
My sister was a healthy nonagenarian, living her life as she wanted, dismissive of any suggestions that she should slow down. While I will miss her deeply for the rest of my life: she left this world as she lived: on her own terms. Hurrah for that!
My sister was a trained English teacher, who taught generations of students in schools in and around Colombo. While she did have responsible administrative positions in many of the schools where she was a faculty member, her main passion was teaching English. She took such pleasure in teaching the finer points of grammar, proper pronunciation in spoken English, and took pride in coaching her students in writing well-crafted essays. The many accolades she received from her former students, from all walks of life, attest to the high esteem she enjoyed among them.
Loku Akka was a devout Buddhist. She was an active Dayaka of the neighbourhood Isipathanaramaya temple. While she was well versed in the core doctrine of Buddhism, and lived by its exemplar principles, she also initiated and participated enthusiastically in religious activities, including rituals and festival conducted at the temple. Once when I questioned her on some of these customs and rituals, she explained that for a religion like Buddhism to thrive and grow, Buddha poojas, Gilan pasa poojas etc. are necessary in order to nurture community engagement that inculcate reverence and respect for the religion, especially its message of non-violence, while bringing the community together for peaceful pursuits.
Loku Akka’s annual Vesak Sil redi campaign was legendary. While she could easily afford to finance the purchase herself, that was not the point. All of us were brought into the fold for contributions: not necessarily with gentle persuasion. It gave her immense satisfaction to see the
Sil Redi distributed among the needy devotees.
As a family, we grew up in Molligoda, Wadduwa. Soon, the siblings were scattered in Colombo, Kandy and in the West. Loku Akka, continued to keep in touch with the Molligoda neighbourhood and especially with the main Buddhist temple. She travelled the 20 miles from her home in Colombo to attend temple events including the Katina Pinkama.
Padme, Loku Akka’s husband passed away some years ago. They were a great team and were parents to three wonderful children, Gayathri, Bimali and Rasika. While she maintained a very close relationship with all three of them, she was in particular deeply appreciative of the care rendered by Bimali, who was the only one of her children living in
Sri Lanka. She adored her three grandchildren. My sister was “Loku-Loku” Amma to eight nieces and nephews. She embraced them in her loving fold.
As for me, her sudden death brought the shocking realization that a wonderful constant in my life was now lost forever. We did not always agree, but I will treasure our many conversations, from the profound to the mundane.
Above all, what we will miss most was her seemingly effortless ability to bring out the best in people. Maya Angelou captured it best: “People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”