The myth of the evil stepmother
Popular culture tells us that stepmothers are mean, neglectful – even deadly. Yet there’s little evidence to support the myth. Why does it prevail?
The fictional world is rife with stepmothers who are highly unpleasant – or even murderous monsters. Think Snow White’s envy-ridden stepmother; the witch in Hansel and Gretel, who banishes her stepchildren to the woods, both belong to a class of evil women”, wrote Maria Tatar, a professor of literature, folklore and mythology at Harvard University.
At bare minimum, these villainous characters are painted as cold and unloving. In the 1950 Disney adaption of Cinderella, the vicious Lady Tremaine forces her stepdaughter into back-breaking labour, and encourages her biological children to shun their stepsister.
It’s no coincidence stepmothers today are thought of in a less favourable light than any other family figure. Thanks to more than 900 international stories written about nefarious stepmothers throughout centuries – and the endless stream of on-screen adaptations from filmmakers – they’re frequently perceived as less affectionate, kind, happy and likeable.
Though stepfamilies of all kinds certainly face challenges and conflicts that could reinforce some elements of these stereotypes, there’s no real evidence supporting the wicked stepmother caricature. In fact, research shows that stepmothers can be uniquely beneficial to families, serving as the glue that holds members together after a separation, and providing extra support to grieving children.
Why, then, do these harsh perceptions persist? And as stepfamilies become increasingly common across the world, might these tropes one day fade into irrelevance?
The emergence of the evil stepmum
The stereotype of the wicked stepmother has existed in fairy tales and folklore around the world for millennia – with some stories dating back to Roman times.
Even as divorce, re-marriage and the creation of stepfamilies became more common in the late 20th Century, various psychologists aided in the blurring of fact and fiction. Some believed that humans are biologically programmed to protect genetic children ahead of stepchildren, says Lisa Doodson, a UK-based psychologist specialising in stepfamily dynamics. In the 1970s, researchers came up with a name for instances of stepparent abuse: the Cinderella Effect. Studies have since uncovered that stepparents do harm children at higher rates per capita than genetic parents, but it’s important to note that virtually all instances of violence involve stepfathers – not stepmothers.
Yet empirical evidence wasn’t necessary for stereotypes about awful, neglectful stepmothers to live on. They continued to thrive for the same reasons they did centuries ago; culturally dominant ideals surrounding the all-important nuclear family and the sacred biological parent-child relationship.
Despite the strength of these tropes, however, there’s little evidence proving stepmothers behave like the heartless caricatures of popular culture – and plenty showing that they don’t.
“Wicked stepmothers don’t show up in the data,” agrees Todd Jensen, a research assistant professor at the University of North Carolina, US, who studies relational patterns between stepparents and their stepchildren. In a 2021 survey of 295 stepchildren, Jensen found most had positive relationships with their stepmothers.
These kinds of positive stepmother relationships can be hugely beneficial for a child. Compared to more negative relationships, Jensen found they’re associated with lower levels of a child’s psychological distress, anxiety, depression and loneliness caused by the stepfamily formation – along with better social and academic outcomes. Stepmothers can really “make a unique contribution to the wellbeing of a child”, he says.
That’s especially true after a divorce, says Cara Zaharychuk, a Canadian counsellor who’s studied the role stepmothers play in a separation. By spending quality time with children after a divorce, Zaharychuk found that stepmothers can help them feel part of a family again.
In the Grimms’ era, most stepfamilies were formed after the death of a biological mother. These days, it’s more likely that a new stepparent enters the family after a divorce, says Jensen.
Ultimately, research shows that stepmothers aren’t villainous, as books and films might have us believe. Though their perceived role in a family depends on many factors existing data suggests they mostly have a positive impact on families.