Diamonds on the Soles of your Shoes

Last year my beloved grandmother left us, it was indeed a painful experience for me as her love was one reason that kept my mind wet for at least a moment. My mind was a dry desert due to the separation I faced from my mother who left me when I was just 3-4 years of age. The pain I felt from the loss of my grandmother was not able to condemn me as I had taken good care of her to my fullest potential during the long period of time she was with me. Apart from my father none of my uncles were interested in looking after her, they hardly ever came to see her.

There were some of the uncles who did not visit her for years, as they were entirely after the worldly possessions not knowing that they have placed a diamond under their sole and it was their valuable mother. They did not realise her value. My uncles were looking after their wives very well which is indeed a good thing but at the same time they were dumping their mother into a garbage can. At the moment their mother, my grandmother passed away they were struck with an unbearable pain of condemnation as their conscious was killing them for neglecting a valuable treat which they could have taken care of with utmost love and concern. They lamented and wept greatly before her coffin as a result of their guilt of placing a precious diamond under the sole of their shoe.

As for me, yes, I cried a greatly before her coffin but I did not even take part for the burial merely to witness the fake drama of my uncles who have been crying and weeping during her burial due to their guilt and condemnation. Everything you do before a dead body is just in vain as their name itself does not exist after death. The dead person is addressed as “the remains”, what remains is a senseless and thoughtless body. What is more important is to treasure the relationships while they are alive.

We all tend to make mistakes. I am not a hypocrite to say that I am perfect just because I am a role model and people respect me immensely. I have hurt my wife at times due to my weaknesses but I have made it a point to kiss her forehead and ask for forgiveness from the depth of my heart with tears rolling down my eyes. After receiving forgiveness I have treated her with great love much more than I had loved her before breaking her heart.

I told my uncles that one day they will reap what they sow, true to my words I see them suffering in almost all the avenues of life. I told them that it was impossible to reap apples by sowing bitter fruits. Diamonds are to be worn around your neck, to be treasured with pleasure. It is not to be worn under the soles of your shoes. Pick up the phone and tell your parents how much they mean to you. They do not expect your money. Their only wish is to hear your loving words. Nevertheless, you will begin to suffer the roaring sound of silence before their coffins. They will be silent in their coffins yet your heart will be unbearably noisy with the sound of guilt and condemnation.

Last month when I went to visit my mother, she began to cry as she felt bad about leaving us. I recalled all the good things she has done for us even from a distance. I remember how she used to come to see us at the bus stop with two delicious packets of rice. I still recall how she used to give us ten rupees each from the little money she earned. She even used to take us to the beach every Sunday. Everything that came into my mind was uttered with love so that she could hear and be happy about it. She then began to cry and they were indeed tears of joy.

By the time you identify that you have a diamond placed under your sole and you begin to retrieve it, it will be chipped and worn out into pieces because it had been under your foot for a long time. A successful person ought to proceed with the quality of being grateful as it is the raw material that produces worthiness and a heart of appreciation. Do not allow bitterness to steal the beauty of being grateful. Do not seek for perfectionists as you yourself is not perfect. How many times have we hurt our loved ones with heart piercing harsh words?

Therefore, train your mind to forgive and forget. I know it is hard to forgive but the moment you realise that you have been forgiven by your parents and your spouse for any hurtful deeds you have done to them, it helps you to develop a new thought circuit of forgiving. All negative thought circuits can be changed if you have the willingness and you decide to change. All you have got to do is starve those detrimental thought circuits and start feeding new contributive thought patterns to your mind. In order to achieve that, you must get out of certain environments as well as some grounds that are poisonous and has the tendency to hinder the growth of fertile seeds.

Live as though today is the last day you live in this world, tomorrow may never come. On the flip side, certain people in your life may not breathe tomorrow. Will you be in peace before their coffins? Or will you lament and weep just as my uncles, who did not give much value to the relationship they should have treasured with their mother. Do not place diamonds under the sole of your shoes. Treasure every valuable relationship in your life. Get over unworthy relationships. Some people value their friends much more than their families. My classmates host a gathering every Friday night and they used to invite me for these drinking gatherings as well.

I told them directly that I do not have the time for it. As for me, Friday nights are amazing times spent with my family. I do not want to lament and weep before the coffins of my loved ones. My youngest aunt was with me from the day that my mum left us. So, we always make sure that she is happy. We are determined to love her and make her happy in every possible way. Obviously we will cry in front of her coffin, but, once the remains are buried we will move ahead upward and forward as usual as we have not allowed the seed of condemnation and guilt to reside in us.