Private Tears that Fertilise Public Victories

There is a very popular myth that strong men and women don’t cry. Well, then haven’t grate warriors cried as though they are infants at times they have lost their loved ones. The day my father leaves us I would certainly cry until I have no more tears to cry. In the history of Israel, it is written that the famous king David wept until he was out of tears at the moment when his wife and children were taken hostage by his enemies. Yet, the best part of it is that once he had no more tears to cry he fought back fearlessly and retrieved his wife and children. Tears and Laughter are two powerful emotions that are embedded within our human soul. They are like sun and rain to a plant. Pain moulds us whilst joy inspires us.

A warrior needs both moulding and motivation. In other words, a warrior needs both development and inspiration. One fine day twenty years ago, I cried until I had no more tears to cry due to the foolish and arrogant behaviour of mine that led me towards my destruction. I cried so much as I had nothing accumulated in my bag of life in order to face life’s battles. Whilst my schoolmates were on top of the mountains I was sleeping inside train compartments. I was an empty person. Once all my pain was released, I had no more tears to cry, then there aroused a sapling of hope to start life all over again. Crying and weeping helped me to empty my helpless mind tank and once I was out of tears it paved the way towards a seed of hope to enter my mind tank. That is why tears and laughter are both very important to us in attaining a good emotional balance.

Just as we need a healthy body, so do we need a healthy emotional balance as well. If we are not stable emotionally then there will come moments when our mind will burst out and we will collapse. Do not try to store too much pressure than what your mind tank can bear, unless it will burst off. It is actually as though you are installing a 10KW generator in your building whereas the actual requirement is 50KW. The moment the full power is loaded to the system, it will collapse since the small generator is incapacitated to hold the required power. That is why enhancing the capacity of the mind is of utmost importance.

There is no way that we can enhance our mind capacity unless we lift more painful, hurtful and challenging thoughts and emotions. You cannot lift a weight of 80KG if you fail to lift 60KG. You cannot jump 6.0 ft if you fail to jump 5.5 ft. Likewise, your brain has a capacity and you should work out on strengthening your mind muscles on a daily basis. In doing so, emotional balance becomes very important. If not, your cognitive circuits will burn out or your mind muscles will be paralysed. Tears and laughter are two powerful ingredients which are needed to be used consciously in order to strike a healthy emotional balance. I have cried heavily on certain occasions. Moreover, I laugh out loud constantly. Sometimes, my wife asks me if our neighbours would think that we are made because of the way we laugh out loud. Our mind tanks are constantly emptied and freshly refilled. As we constantly refresh our mind tanks we find fresh inspirations and vitalities in our minds.

Just as your physical body gets tired after a 15km walk, so does your mind get numb after enduring so much pressure in life, separations, rejections, hurtful feelings, mischaracterisation and the discriminations of this wicked society. That is why we need to shed private tears as that will lead us towards public victories. I have met many victorious people from across the world and they all have cried and wept privately during their personal battles.

Therefore, lay your sword on the ground for 10 minutes and weep until you are out of tears. Then, pick up the sword and defeat the battle with a high level of energy, fight like you have never fought before. According to modern day science, detoxification to the physical body is considered as a very important aspect, yet, it is so sad to see very little importance being given to detoxifying our minds. All of us have a capacity in our brain. In order to move forward, first, we need to make sure that our minds are fresh and energetic with their existing capacity and then we could work upon enhancing the capacity so that we could fight greater battles. As a CEO and a business leader, I have fought fearlessly with world famous multinationals but that did not take place overnight. I had to pass through rigorous battle grounds with numerous rejections, hurt, backstabbing, wicked schemes and many other wicked deeds that you would not even imagine. The tears I have shed in private have cleansed and detoxified my mind to fight greater battles.

It was just yesterday that my wife and I found out that a person who dearly addresses us as Malli (brother) and Nangi (sister) has been backstabbing us with a wicked and jealous spirit. It was a difficult task for me to forgive her at once, as what she had spoken was against my innocent wife, who never does any wrong to anyone. Today, amidst all of this I came to work feeling fresh by forgiving that woman with all my heart as I have also done many wrongdoings to my innocent father who has forgiven me. I spoke to myself and said “Philip you have been pardoned and forgiven for greater sins, hence you should forgive and forget what this woman has done against you”. Forgiving will not derive its full blessing until you do not forget that incident”.

Do not be disheartened when life becomes tough at moments when you want to shed your tears. Make sure you do not make crying a ritual or a routine habit as then crying becomes the default mode on every setback of your life, that is what your brain will be accustomed to respond instantly. If you tend to cry always you become a “worrier with O” rather than a “warrior with A”. Crying should be like the final scream of a weightlifter when he requires that final bit of energy to lift the weight. Crying should be left for the moment when the attack has reached the top of your mind tank. I am not embarrassed to say that I have cried a few times during the second chapter of my life, yet, I have always been well focused to pick up the sword and fight the battles until I have that last laugh. Tears refresh you to fight harder. Laughter warms your blood with inspiration. That is the reason I stated that we need tears and laughter for a good balance of emotional intelligence.

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