It’s not much fun being a sardine
The skytrain (BTS) has been a qualified success since its introduction in 1999, but regrettably it is getting severely stretched, a victim of its own popularity. Anyone who has travelled on it in recent months will be aware that it is getting uncomfortably crowded at any time of the day, while the rush hour is increasingly becoming a nightmare and definitely not good for the blood pressure. Not the best of times to announce an increase in fares.
The rush hour is a complete misnomer of course. Going into central Bangkok on BTS in the morning the rush hour starts at 6am and goes on to about 10.30am. The evening rush commences about 4.30pm and you are lucky if it thins out about 8.30pm or even later.
The overcrowding is so bad that it has become common practice for commuters to board trains going in the opposite direction to their destination, getting off a few stops down the line, then crossing over to the other platform in the hope of at least getting on the inbound train and finding a decent standing position. Getting a seat is out of the question.
It might be an idea if someone in authority takes a trip during these hours to see just what fun it is for the hapless commuters. However, quite what they can do to improve things is another matter, apart from increasing the number of carriages.
The crush reminded me of a report concerning the London Underground some years ago. At Camden Town station one busy afternoon when the platform was packed, the announcer came over the intercom with the standard line: “Please let the passengers get off the train first.” After repeating it several times, with absolutely no backing off by the passengers on the platform, the frustrated announcer blurted out: “Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care. I’m going home.”
Twin peaks
One thing I’ve noticed on the BTS is that unsuspecting tourists, sometimes in quite large groups, get caught up in the crowds, adding to the chaos. Many haven’t got a clue where they are going and some are loaded up with suitcases and even children’s prams exclusively designed for everybody to trip over. Getting on a packed train with a baby is not a good idea.
One wonders whether the BTS could introduce a special cheap rate card only usable in the off-peak periods, say between 10am and 5pm and 8.30pm and midnight. However, some might say there is never an off-peak time in Bangkok. While I was at On Nut station the other evening at 9.30pm waiting to go into town, an outbound train arrived at the opposite platform and it was absolutely jam-packed.
Morning has broken
A couple of years ago, owing to a rare breakfast appointment, I found myself at On Nut station at the appalling hour of 6am. I was hoping to beat the rush, but after puffing my way up the station steps was greeted by the daunting sight of hundreds of people already waiting on the platform.
I managed to squeeze onto the train and noticed that although many commuters were already engrossed in their phones, quite a few of those who were seated were fast asleep, which seemed very sensible. Several of those standing up also appeared to be asleep, confirming my suspicions that Thais can sleep almost anywhere.
It’s just as well most Bangkok commuters are addicted to smartphones, which keep them amused on their crowded journeys. Just imagine if they didn’t have these phones to distract them. I fear they would all go barking mad.
Taking the scenic route
I don’t travel on the Bangkok underground (MRT) too much, but apparently there are similar overcrowding problems. At least the BTS commuters are treated to views of the city, albeit mostly the rooftops of filthy shophouses. Catching glimpses of the sky and the occasional tree can also bolster one’s spirits.
In London, Underground drivers have been known to cheer up dispirited passengers by telling them they are lucky to be “taking the scenic route”. One driver went a bit further with: “Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Waterloo and City Line. Sights to observe on your journey are, to your right, black walls, to your left, more black walls.”
Another announcer dryly came out with: “The Bakerloo Line is running normally today, so you may expect delays to all destinations.”
Aldgate East
Another tale concerning the joys of travelling on the London Underground featured a rather posh lady who fell asleep on a District Line train. She only woke up at the end of the line at Upminster, about 25km from central London. The confused lady asked the guard in her best Oxford English: “Excuse me, is this Aldgate East?” To which the guard replied in broad cockney lingo: “Nah lady, it’s all get aht!”
The Songkhla song
A word on the death of the talented Walter Becker, a key member of Steely Dan, a very special American rock group. Becker was co-writer of one of my favourite songs, Do It Again, which I still play regularly. It always reminds me of Songkhla, where I first heard it on a beachside jukebox in 1973. Oh happy days!