HOW TO BORROW VERY EXPENSIVE WRISTWATCHES FROM YOUR GAZILLIONAIRE FRIEND
Want to wear a Patek Philippe, Richard Mille or Rolex without paying a satang? Here’s how in 10 easy steps.
1. Decide on your brands of choice. If you’re going to wear bling, you better make a statement, standing out in a group photo with your colleagues.
2. Decide on how many watches you want to borrow. The closer you are with the rich friend, the more watches you can borrow, obvi. “25 watches valued at nearly 40 million baht” says you’re bros for life.
3. Wear them to work daily so everyone will know you’re wearing expensive timepieces while doing important jobs. Switch brand regularly, too.
4. For a complete hi-so look, pair them with the expensive ring your father gave you.
5. Be grateful to the gazillionaire friend who won’t mind your chubby wrists straining the strength of his watches’ bands. Or that you have to adjust his very expensive limited-edition timepieces around to suit your wrist. Not to mention, your sweat stains. (Eww)
6. In case your rich friend passes away, wear one of his watches to his funeral. It’s a way of honouring him. Contrary to what common sense may tell you, it’s okay not to return the watches you’ve borrowed to his family immediately even though they should be considered heirlooms of sentimental value to his fam at this point.
7. Continue wearing his watches to work for almost a year afterwards. It’s a way of honouring his memory. Everyone grieves differently, y’know.
8. When people start questioning how you acquired those watches on salary you receive, just tell them the truth, of course, that your friend posthumously lent them to you. It’s a rich people thing. Plebs won’t understand.
9. Convince yourself that you’re a victim of a smearing campaign. Insist you’re telling the truth even though no one believes you.
10. Find that f**king imaginary friend who has about 200-300 such watches. Or wake the f**k up. Pardon my French. P.S. I’ve been strongly advised by
Bangkok Post’s legal team to make it clear that these tips have nothing to do with any real-life incident.