THEY SAID IT

“I THOUGHT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR POKEMONS.”

Twitter user jiji_winkieboy describing his encounter of sex in Lumpini Park.

“I WILL GIVE HIM B100K IF HE CAN PROVE IT’S TRUE.” Pol Gen Aswin Kwanmuang, governor of Bangkok, scoffs at the ridiculous notion that anyone would have sex in Lumpini Park.

“THEY PUT ON THEIR CLOTHES AND LEFT.”

A Lumpini Park security guard reports to Bangkok city park director Arom Wongmaha about foreigners having sex.

“I’LL LET YOU KNOW IN SEPTEMBER.”

Gen (Ret) Prayut Chan-o-cha, prime minister, chief aerobics instructor, head of the ruling military council (NCPO), national roadmap cartographer, holds 70 million people in suspense about whether he will be prime minister after the 2015 election.

“THEIR ACTIVITIES ARE 100% POLITICAL.”

Chusak Sirinil, lawyer, Pheu Thai Party, on the activities of the pro-military Sam Mitr (3 Amigos) political recruiting team.

“INNOCENT AND I HAVE THE DOCUMENTS TO PROVE IT.” Prasit Srisuwan, an influential

Stock Exchange of Thailand investor, detained in the alleged theft of 66.5 million baht from the 797-million baht bitcoin fraud.

“THE REMAINING 1,965 HOUSES ARE PENDING RELOCATION.”

Sompong Wiangkaew, deputy clerk, Bangkok Metropolitan Administration, makes up a new term for forcing people out of their homes along the Lat Phrao Canal.

“THE AGENCY MUST DRIVE THE NATIONAL PLAN.” Thosaporn Sirisamphand, new secretarygeneral of the National Economic and Social Development Board (NESDB), which will enforce the junta’s economic plan.

“LESS THAN 30 SECONDS.” Gen (Ret) Prayut Chan-o-cha on the maximum amount of time he is giving police to stop traffic at intersections for VIP convoys.

“WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE FREE PRESS?” Donald J Trump, in another attack on alleged fake news and “dishonest reporting”.

“WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE.”

Marjorie Pritchard, managing editor of the editorial page, The Boston Globe newspaper, and spearhead of a conspiracy to print anti-Trump editorials on Thursday.