Experiencing the ‘Self-Isolation Blues’

Ihad been hoping not to mention THE VIRUS this week, but it is impossible to escape from it as it has become so overwhelming. The saturation coverage on international TV channels is enough to make you ill, even if you were feeling fine. It’s almost like all those dreadful dystopian films we’ve been subjected to in recent years have come to be a grim reality

I’ve been trying to do my bit for the cause by attempting “self-isolation”, which alarmingly is not that much different to what I was doing before the virus crisis. I did say “attempting” because to stop myself going totally bananas, sporadic visits to the local supermarket are a necessity and sadly have become the highlight of the week. My social life at the moment is a brief bit of banter with the check-out girls.

There have been tales of supermarket shelves being emptied, although I have not experienced that so far. Admittedly there was a moment of panic when I discovered there was an absence of HP sauce. That’s when you know things are getting serious.

“Self-isolation” is a horrible expression. It sounds like you have become a hermit, hidden away, exiled, remote, disconnected and totally incommunicado. Admittedly it does create certain problems. When the wife is out of the house I find myself having conversations with the dog. Mind you, he’s a good listener and never contradicts me, well, not a lot. I suppose it’s better than talking to myself, which is said to be the first step to being hauled away by men in white coats.

Keep your distance

The virus has sparked a whole new vocabulary. Apart from the aforementioned “self-isolation”, we have “social distancing” which sounds a trifle snobby. Then there is “herd immunity” which I don’t fully understand but brings to mind “cattle class”. Of course the more traditional “quarantine” has put in a regular appearance, while I bet two of the most commonly used words in recent times are “postponed” and “cancelled”.

Every country is just about on a war-footing. We now have an “invisible enemy” and Mr Trump is calling himself a “wartime president”. Apparently even Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, is now a ghost town. At the House of Common in London, MPs are sitting at least a metre apart, although you suspect many of them would like that to be on a permanent basis.

Get the ration books out

In the UK various forms of rationing are being implemented by supermarkets with customers restricted to a certain amount of any product in an effort to prevent panic buying. It is probably the first time since World War II that such action has been taken.

I was born just after the war but the rationing continued in Britain for almost a decade. Some of my earliest memories are of my mum getting the ration books out of the drawer and checking to see if we had enough stamps, before walking down to the local shops. I was fascinated by all the stamps in the ration books but was too young to have any understanding about the reason for them in those austere days after the war. I do recall being amused that one of the butchers we visited was called Mr Bacon.

Strict rationing was to continue in Britain until about 1953 when sugar and eggs were finally taken off the list and it ended altogether in 1954, meat being the last item. Ironically, rationing prompted a considerable improvement in the health of Britons. For the first time they were forced to eat a balanced diet and life expectancy soared. There could be a lesson in that.

Careless talk

Perhaps some of those old British wartime slogans could be used for today’s dire situation. “Dig for Victory” was designed to encourage people to grow their own veggies. One problem with that of course is that you need a garden. Then there was “Careless talk costs lives”. In the present situation, you get the uncomfortable feeling that some of the people in charge don’t really know what they are talking about.

The most famous slogan was “Keep calm and carry on” which was quite a morale-booster. However in the battle against the virus, you don’t want people to carry on as before, so perhaps it could be adapted to “Keep calm and don’t sneeze”.

Which brings us to “Coughs and sneezes spread diseases” which has been mentioned in this column before. It carried the additional message “Trap the germs in your handkerchief’’. That last bit doesn’t sound very nice but can be quite effective.

Balcony bonding

It is not all negative news. There have been many encouraging cases of “balcony bonding”, particularly in Italy, the hardest-hit European country. People in apartment blocks assemble on their balconies and join in some community singing to raise morale. In Turin, they sang and danced on their balconies to the Macarena to lift their spirits, while the citizens of Naples got stuck into the popular song Abbracciame (Hug Me). I heard a particularly rousing version of Volare from one Italian high-rise block. That was the first Italian song I ever heard, back in 1958 when it entered the UK top ten. I could even sing a bit of the chorus, “nel plu dipinto di blu” but hadn’t a clue what it meant.