Football films can be a mixed bag
Last week I watched on TV a couple of half-decent films on American sports — Moneyball (2011) starring Brad Pitt as a baseball manager and Any Given Sunday (1999) with Al Pacino as coach of an underperforming American gridiron team.
It got me thinking about any decent football (soccer) films in recent years. It’s something of a mixed bag.
Let’s get the worst out of the way first. At the height of the Fifa scandal in 2015, with many officials facing charges of racketeering, money laundering and fraud, Fifa financed United Passion, a thinly disguised PR job. Fortunately it didn’t fool anyone and was a total flop.
It was puzzling that such accomplished actors as Tim Roth, who played Sepp Blatter, and Sam Neil (Joao Havelange) got roped into what the Guardian called “pure cinematic excrement.”
In one of the more laughable scenes, the Blatter character warns his Fifa colleagues “the slightest breach of ethics will be severely punished.”
Echoing the Guardian were the US newspapers.
“One of the most unwatchable films in recent memory,” said the New York Times.
“A squirming heap of propaganda,” was the verdict of the Los Angeles Times.
It was hardly surprising that the film warrants a zero percent rating on the Rotten Tomatoes website.
In the early days, probably the most famous film with a football theme was Escape to Victory (1981).
This was classic Hollywood fare about an escape from a German PoW camp featuring a match between the prisoners and a German team.
It created huge interest because in addition to Michael Caine, the film featured an international cast of football stars including Pele, Bobby Moore, Osvaldo Ardiles, Mike Summerbee and half the Ipswich Town team.
It was good entertainment as long as you totally suspended disbelief.
Any film with Sylvester Stallone playing a goalkeeper cannot be taken too seriously.
Stallone later admitted: “To be honest, I hate the sport.”
Another Hollywood production was Goal (2005), featuring a Mexican immigrant in the US who goes on to play for Newcastle.
It wasn’t too bad and was a huge commercial success, unlike its two lacklustre sequels.
Most Arsenal fans will be familiar with Fever Pitch (1997), starring Colin Firth and based on the excellent book by Nick Hornby.
It climaxes with the Gunners winning the 1989 league title with a last minute goal in the final match of the season at Anfield.
Perhaps the best-received footballrelated film has been Bend It Like Beckham (2002) about a 18-year-old Sikh girl in London whose passion for football clashes with her parents’ cultural traditions.
It is more a social commentary than a football film, but with a lively script, plenty of humour and excellent acting it proved a big hit.
One of the best of the bunch is The Damn United (2009), concerning a tumultuous 44 days in the career of legendary manager Brian Clough when he moved to Leeds United, a club he hated.
It was an interesting choice by director Tom Hooper, highlighting Clough’s bad times rather than his remarkable success at Derby and Nottingham Forest.
Thanks to inspired acting from Michael Sheen as the embattled Clough, and laced with humour, the film offers a real flavour of English football in the 1970s.
Despite favourable reviews, Clough’s son Nigel reportedly refused to watch the film because of inaccuracies which upset his mother.
Another film that prompted a negative reaction from a close relative was United (2011), regarding Manchester United’s “Busby Babes” and the tragic Munich air crash in 1958.
Although generally well-received, Matt Busby’s son Sandy did not like it at all, especially the portrayal of his father.
Probably the most amusing film was Mike Basset: England Manager (2001), a heavily satirical “mockumentary” about a low level manager played by Ricky Tomlinson who suddenly finds himself in charge of the England team.
Everything that could go wrong does go wrong, but it’s hugely entertaining. There is a lovely bit when little-known players Benson and Hedges are selected after Bassett writes his team list on a cigarette packet and gives it to his secretary to type.
Most people have probably seen The Mean Machine (2001), an uneven comedy featuring Vinnie Jones as a former England star, who is serving three years in jail for assault.
He is put in charge of the inmates’ team to play against the prison officers. It is sporadically amusing, with the highlight being Jason Statham playing a nut-case goalkeeper.
Jones, who played for Wales in real life, has become an actor after his retirement from football.
He has starred in a large number of movies including Swordfish (2001) and X-Men: The Last Stand (2006).
There have been several films on football hooliganism, like The Firm and The Football Factory, but they are quite depressing.
The most recent football-related film is The Bromley Boys (2018), which has been showing on TrueVisions.
Set in the late 1960s, it is a tale of a young Kent lad who falls in love with his local football team, which is unfortunately non-league side Bromley FC (currently in the fifth-tier National League).
There is some decent humour about supporting a poor grassroots football team which most of us can relate to. However it runs out of steam and the actual football scenes are not very convincing.
So, there are plenty of football films about if you are desperate, but of course you can’t beat the real thing.