WHAT’S IN A NAME? PLENTY

Re: “Ex-Redskins get interim name”, (Sports, July 25).

I don’t know why the American football team formerly known as the Washington Redskins is having so much trouble thinking up a new name. You would think that Native Americans, formerly known as the American Indians (Indian Daeng in Thai), would feel proud to have a football team named after them. But no, in today’s super-contentious world, it’s considered racist.

It is a sign of the intellectual bankruptcy of the team’s management that it will take them an entire season to think up a better name than the awful “Washington Football Team”. Even though I am technically known as a senile old dork, right off the top of my head I can spin off a whole bunch of catchy names.

You might want to name your team after a creature, real or imaginary, that is big, strong, and fierce, like the Detroit Tigers. So among real creatures we could have the Washington Whales, Sharks, Rhinos, Pachyderms, Crocodiles, Alligators, Hippos, Dinosaurs/ Dinos, Tyrannosaurs, or Brontosaurs.

Among imaginary creatures we could have the Washington Leviathans, Behemoths, Gorgons, Yetis, Godzillas, Hulks, Werewolves, Vampires, or Dragons.

Or you might want to name it after a stroppy gang esteemed by American culture, like the New York Yankees.

The name Patriots is already taken, but we could have the Washington Pioneers, Minutemen, Revolutionaries, or Frontiersmen.

So get on with it, former Redskins. Pick a feisty name that won’t make you look like morons, which is what “the Washington Football Team” does.

Ye Olde Pedant