Take 10 keys that should be re­moved from the key­board

Friday - - Leisure -

1 The num­ber pad: I think it’s time we made a de­ci­sion be­tween the num­bers above the al­pha­bet and the num­ber pad at the side of the key­board be­cause right now you’re be­ing a show off, Mr Key­board. 2Page

up/down: I’m sorry but there’s some­one else in my life. I thought we could work it out but I have the scroll bar now. I hope you un­der­stand. 3Scroll

lock: It lied to us. It doesn’t lock the scroll and if it does, we can sim­ply un­lock it. And then what? I’m at a point in my life where I need some sta­bil­ity. 4The

home key: As far as I can tell, it takes me to the top of the page or the be­gin­ning of the line and I for one will gladly use the good ol’ scroll and click method. 5The

stand: This isn’t re­ally a key but the two plas­tic flaps that raise the key­board, mak­ing it sit at an awkward an­gle and af­fect­ing my frag­ile wrists. Stop it Mr Key­board, you’re throw­ing off my equi­lib­rium. 6F2

through F12: Too many short­cuts to re­mem­ber. Think of all the space you can save to bal­ance a nice snack on. Less is more and min­i­mal­ism is in vogue. 7Pause/

break: Even af­ter re­search, I don’t know much about it or what it does and that makes me un­com­fort­able. It’s not that I have an is­sue with the but­ton it­self but more with the pur­pose of it. 8Shift

key: Be­fore peo­ple ex­plode with rage, let me ex­plain. I think one of the two shift keys should take a sab­bat­i­cal. Maybe go to the beach with the spare Ctrl and Alt? 9Insert:

I have to ad­mit this is a per­sonal vendetta. As some­one who isn’t tech-savvy, it frus­trates me when a slip of my fin­ger turns on over­write and I con­tinue typ­ing with­out look­ing at the screen. Plus, it es­sen­tially only works in Word; isn’t that a lit­tle elit­ist? 10NumLock:

Let me paint you a pic­ture; I try to en­ter a num­ber us­ing the pad but NumLock isn’t on and it just scrolls up and down. I have to pick up my hand us­ing the strength from my wrists that al­ready hurt be­cause of ex­ces­sive use of the key­board and re-en­ter the num­ber. Does that seem fair? As told to Bharath Rameshan,

an in­tern with Fri­day

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