Pay at­ten­tion to the lit­tle things

Friday - - Society -

Jes­sica Chivers, au­thor of Mother­sWork (Hay House), saysWe Time with part­ners is vi­tal if we want to main­tain a good re­la­tion­ship.

“Broadly speak­ing, when two peo­ple are spend­ing time in each other’s com­pany, they pick up on the lit­tle things that per­son is happy or un­happy about,” says Jes­sica, coach­ing psy­chol­o­gist and founder of The Tal­ent Keeper Spe­cial­ists (www.tal­en­t­keep­

“The more qual­ity time you spend with some­one, the more at­tuned you be­come to their needs and feel­ings. Yet be­cause we have busy lives with our work and chil­dren, we are los­ing the con­nec­tion that brought us to­gether in the first place.

“De­cid­ing how much time you and your part­ner want to use asWe Time is the first stage. We Time doesn’t have to be a lot of time – it can be some­thing as sim­ple as eye con­tact with your part­ner and a hug when you get home from work. Greet your part­ner first, then say hello to the chil­dren and the dog. For some cou­ples, it could be a whole day at the weekend, while for oth­ers a date night once a month is enough to keep the con­nec­tion strong.”

Once we have reg­u­larWe Time with our part­ners es­tab­lished, Jes­sica rec­om­mends we plan another type ofWe Time – with our chil­dren.

“It’s about do­ing some­thing that tells the chil­dren you value qual­ity time as a fam­ily,” she says. “Sit round the ta­ble and dis­cuss what you’d like to do at the weekend. Make it fun for ev­ery­one, or maybe a chal­lenge that you can all get in­volved with – learn­ing a new sport or try­ing a new restau­rant or do­ing a long-dis­tance walk, for ex­am­ple. If you plan it prop­erly, you’ll come away from yourWe Time feel­ing ex­hil­a­rated, and your re­la­tion­ships with your part­ner and chil­dren will be richer for it.”

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