BETTER TOHAVE LOVEDANDLOST THAN NEVER TOHAVE LOVEDAT ALL
In plain English It might not feel like it in the days after your fiancé has run off with your best friend, but experiencing love, if only for a short while, is preferable to going through life without. Origins From a verse by 19th-century British poet Alfred Lord Tennyson It might be true “This is absolutely right,” says Fadwa Lkorchy. “Loving is what makes us human and adds joy to life.
“To never love, you might say, is to never live. I’ve had clients who are so heartbroken after a break-up they don’t think they’ll ever stop feeling pain, but with time and with patience, they do.
“My advice is always to embrace the hurt, and not to avoid it. That is the best way to come to terms with a separation.”
More importantly, she adds, a broken heart helps us to learn about ourselves and prepares us for our next relationship. In this way, losing love actually makes us more likely to find it again. It might not be Tennyson’s rhyme may be a beautiful sentiment, says Dr Kanafani. But it doesn’t hold true in all circumstances.
If, for example, someone terminating a relationship leaves the other person so heartbroken they are incapable of moving on, then that is clearly not healthy. The trick, she advises, is to love well but not to allow that to transform into absolute codependency.
“Even when you are with someone you love,” she says, “you must be happy to be alone, to be yourself. You should not make someone else solely responsible for your happiness.” The verdict Loving is great. Losing isn’t. But both are a part of life that must be accepted.