Right and wrong is not as sim­ple as black and white, our colum­nist Lori Borgman finds out.

Lori Borgman finds the funny in ev­ery­day life, writ­ing from the heart­land of the US. Now, if she could just find her car keys…

Friday - - Contents -

I’m com­ing to grips with the fact that what­ever I do, it’s never quite right. Any­thing. Ev­ery­thing. No mat­ter what any of us do, it’s never quite right. I was pac­ing be­fore I wrote that open­ing para­graph. Why? Be­cause re­searchers say we sit too much. Even if you ex­er­cise 30 min­utes a day, sit­ting for ex­tended pe­ri­ods in­creases the risk of de­vel­op­ing can­cer, di­a­betes, car­dio­vas­cu­lar dis­ease and non-al­co­holic fatty liver dis­ease.

I wrote the pre­vi­ous para sit­ting, but non-al­co­holic fatty liver dis­ease sounds so dis­gust­ing that I’m stand­ing again. I don’t have a tread­mill work­sta­tion or stand­ing desk, so I am up­right with my back and shoul­ders hunched so my fin­gers can reach the key­board. I am prob­a­bly do­ing dam­age to my spine.

Er­gonomic ex­perts sug­gest that for ev­ery half-hour of of­fice work, peo­ple should sit for 20 min­utes, move around for eight and stretch for two. To ac­com­mo­date all that non-pro­duc­tive stretch­ing and mov­ing around time, the 40-hour work week could eas­ily ex­pand to 60.

There’s more, but you’ll want to sit down for this one. Other er­gonomic ex­perts warn that too much stand­ing can also have neg­a­tive ef­fects: vari­cose veins, back and foot prob­lems, and carotid artery dis­ease. I guess to be healthy, you need to be a vir­tual jack-in-the-box.

Plus, it turns out we’re los­ing our grip on our hand grip strength. Ac­cord­ing to the Jour­nal of Hand Ther­apy, mil­len­nial males have far less grip strength than their 1985 male coun­ter­parts. If they’d done stud­ies on young males af­ter the Sec­ond World War, they would have en­coun­tered men like my fa­ther and all of my un­cles who all en­joyed ex­chang­ing crush­ing hand­shakes. Too much grip, not enough grip.

Then there’s the bat­tle over carbs. My per­sonal physi­cian, Dr Web, MD, states that eat­ing too few carbs causes blood su­gar to dip too low and eat­ing too many can el­e­vate blood su­gar.

Whether I am eat­ing too many or too few, I am not get­ting it right.

The cof­fee de­bate never stops brew­ing. One camp claims drink­ing sev­eral cups a day will make you smarter, help burn fat and lower your risk of type 2 di­a­betes, Parkin­son’s and Alzheimer’s, and is good for your liver. In the other cor­ner of the ring peo­ple claim cof­fee causes rest­less­ness and in­som­nia, leaches min­er­als from your body, and is ad­dic­tive.

What we all need to do is SIT down, STAND up, grab a cof­fee, stretch, dump the cof­fee, cy­cle a while, eat some CARBS, aban­don PASTA, prac­tise open­ing vac­uum-sealed jars and THINK th­ese things through

What we all need to do is sit down, stand up, grab a cof­fee, run in place, take a load off, stretch for two min­utes, dump the cof­fee, cy­cle a while, have a seat on the sofa, eat some carbs, aban­don pasta, prac­tise open­ing vac­uum-sealed jars and think th­ese things through.

I’m rea­son­ably cer­tain you’ll come to the same con­clu­sion I did – it’s im­pos­si­ble to get it right.

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