WE THE LIVING

Grief is cruel, merciless even. Like a menacing hunter it preys on our spirit, feeding off its indomitable strength.

Whether we are mourning the death of a loved one, like Cheryl Strayed (April 13 issue), who trekked for three months across USA’s west coast to come to terms with her mother’s passing, or the death of a relationship or even a crushed dream, the resulting wound from the loss nibbles at all that is living within us. What is left of us is a hollow shell, a constant state of ennui that dissolves our will to continue.

But as Cheryl, and all those who wrote in to us this week (Storytellers, page 8) prove, that is just one part of the cycle we call life, it is not the cycle.

What follows is the arduous process of resurrection. A journey that requires us to sift through the debris of our destroyed emotions, trying to salvage our dignity, rebuild our faith in ourselves and most importantly reconfigure our personal GPSs to ensure we get back on track.

This is not easy. It was never going to be. What’s worse is that we are never prepared enough for these curve balls that life throws at us.

Why me, we wonder. A selfish thought, self-victimising even but it is the start of a big churn that I call ‘unflinching conversations with ourself’, brutally honest talks that act like a swab of antiseptic – searing in the beginning, soothing in the long run. Reflection is the first step towards healing.

Emotional healing is a very

Emotional healing is a personal journey. It is a process that necessitates we create our own roadmap to recovery

personal journey that follows no itinerary. It is a process that necessitates we create our own roadmap to recovery.

Healing, as Cheryl pointed out, ‘is not an epiphany and everything-isbetter-now moment, but rather an understanding that I could carry my suffering with me’. It is accepting that our grief is our cross to bear. A weight that strengthens our character, giving us the wisdom to appreciate and celebrate what’s left behind.

As Mariah Carey once sang

The hero lies in you, to me that is resurrection – rising from the ashes of failed dreams, overcoming odds, accepting loss and finding the courage within to move on.