IN THE NAME OF FATHER
I’m bankrupt right now, said a relative. Not talking about his financial status, he clarified, ‘it’s emotional condition,’ he said. Coming from a new father, that admission truly sounded surprising, shocking in fact. For here was a man whose jumpingfor-joy façade, a result of his newfound fatherhood, was struggling to disguise his heavy, vacant soul. A soul which was unable to come to terms with change in his relationship status. ‘I don’t understand fatherhood,’ he admitted. ‘Apart from changing diapers, burping and dropping my little one to day care, I feel I’m merely an onlooker in my son’s life,’ he added.
Aha, so he’s just twinning the usual sense of inadequacy that many fathers these days feel, I said to myself. Unsure of their role because of the changing dynamics that academics, self-help books and the entertainment industry project to the universe about roles of fathers, it’s only natural that dads nowadays feel they have either lost their sense of purpose or tend to believe that the job profile is no longer as well defined as it used to be.
‘It was so much easier for my father,’ continued the relative. ‘All he had to do was practice his withering look as often as he could, teach me math and oh yes, he taught me how to shave as well,’ he said.
At the onset, that sounded so inadequate, unfair almost. Is that all our fathers did, I asked myself as I immediately went back in time to give my own dad a quick appraisal. And I realised to quite an extent the argument holds a lot of merit.
It’s only natural that dads feel they have either lost their sense of purpose or believe the job profile is no longer as well defined
The point of view gets validated by most of the dads we spoke with for our feature ‘Dads get a makeover’ on page 24. It is clear from all the testimonies that dads decades ago were responsible for laying down the rules, always doing what was right. That was their primary job.
While we ponder over that seemingly brief CV, I’m compelled to think, then how come for most of us, our dads are and always will be our superheroes?
May be therein lies the answer: By being fair, honest men, they led by example. May be that’s all it takes to be a good father.