WEEKEND GUIDE
Two Abu-Dhabi based photographers went the extra distance to make Father’s Day picture perfect for nine dads in Kerala who live apart from their families to build a better life, finds
Find out what’s happening in the UAE this week.
If you grew up with your dad around the house learning to ride a bicycle with him on the weekends, being picked up from school, and having him tend your fevers in person, thank your lucky stars, count your blessings and if dad is around, give him a bear hug. You might not have realised it, but you’re part of a privileged group of people whose fathers could provide for their families without leaving home to toil in a foreign country. This is the reality of a large chunk of children around the world whose fathers are immigrant workers in the UAE; it’s no bed of roses for these dads either, who aren’t absent by choice but by necessity. Every Fathers’ Day has just been another day on the calendar to cross off until their next annual leave – there are no squealing excited kids, a warm family dinner or special gifts to wake up to.
However, for nine lucky expatriates, Father’s Day takes on a fresh significance this year thanks to Abu Dhabi-based photographers Waleed Shah and Nikith Nath whose heart-warming travel photography project saw them travel to the southern Indian state of Kerala and gift families with framed 12x18 inches portraits of their overseas fathers and bring back jubilant snapshots of the families as keepsakes for the dads.
The Father’s Day Project is Waleed’s brainchild, born of a need to transform his annual summer holiday into an opportunity for altruism. ‘Every summer, I travel to a new destination and immerse myself in an unknown culture by staying there longer than the average tourist.’ While planning his trip, Waleed realised that Father’s Day was around the corner and connecting families torn by distance seemed like a great way to pay it forward. A series of fortunate co-incidences directed him to Kerala: ‘Being born and raised in Abu Dhabi meant I grew up realising that over one million of the UAE’s expat population is from Kerala and hearing everyone around me speak Malayalam. So, subconsciously, Kerala was on my mind and I remembered my photographer buddy Nikith Nath mention he’d be in Kerala around the same time I was planning my trip and it all just kind of clicked.
The NYUAD, one of Waleed’s long-standing clients, put him in touch with the Emirates International Facilities Management (EIFM) who happily connected Waleed to nine of their Keralite employees who had left families behind in their hunt for a better future. Gigi Thomas, Devaassy Thomas, Benny, Jomy Joseph, Baiju, Joy, Daniel Philipose, Binu and Anil Kumar came on board, albeit a little confused about why someone cared about their stories, a little awkward about being professionally photographed and being interviewed on video (for a documentary releasing soon) but accommodating, nevertheless.
The project also fit Waleed – a passionate biker’s zest for discovering new places on motorcycles like a glove; the duo rode 900km from Thiruvananthapuram, where Nikith’s family lives, to Thrissur on Royal Enfields covering Kerala’s postcard-perfect backwaters, scenic hillsides, remote rubber plantations, jam-packed towns delivering happiness and personal messages and collecting some life lessons on the way.
The men varied in ages, professions (plumbers, site managers, electric foremans), educational backgrounds and the number of years they’d spent in the UAE. But the common thread that bound them together was the same – dreams of putting their children through school, building better homes and providing their family with the comforts their modest salaries can afford.
Gigi Thomas, who has spent 28 years in the UAE, was proud when his son graduated as a mechanical engineer recently.
The Father’s Day Project was born of a need to transform a summer holiday into an opportunity for altruism
The final leg of the project saw dads being pictured a second time – holding a picture of their family holding a picture of them
‘I work hard here but I don’t regard it as a burden, my life is dedicated to my kids and family,’ says Benny.
Jomy asks his family to pray for him and Daniel tells his, ‘I’m working hard here just for you.’
Distance, that sometimes spans for unforgiving periods as long as two years, only made the heart grow fonder. ‘Daniel Philipose and his wife are the cutest couple,’ Waleed reminisces. ‘He calls his wife and kids at 3pm every day and checks if they’ve had lunch, they then skype later at 9pm. And when we visited his family we were there for that 3pm phone call and every time we’d talk about Daniel, his wife would blush. It was so beautiful to see that.’
Joy’s four-year-old son calls him daily pleading with him to return soon because he misses him. If not for the financial problems that have him tied down, Joy would rush to his family in a heartbeat. ‘I will come back soon once all our financial troubles are resolved,’ was the message he sent his family with Waleed and Nikith. But the message that really took Waleed’s breath away, was from Baiju’s father, a simple request that condensed empathy, pride, reassurance and love for the son who bought the family who had nothing their first plot of land and built them a house: ‘Baiju’s dad who knew Arabic from working in Saudi, held my arm really tight and looked me right in the eye and said, ‘when you see Baiju, you tell him we’re doing okay. You tell him what you saw here and tell him we’re all okay and he’s doing great job’. His eyes were filled with tears,’ Waleed recalls.
The project opened Waleed’s eyes to the life of migrant workers. ‘When we met Binu in Abu Dhabi his face lacked emotion. But when we visited his house in Kerala he was there on vacation and we met a completely different person. He was smiling, and happy and showing us around his house,’ says Waleed. ‘Nikith quoted a dialogue by Mammootty from the Malayalam movie Pathemari, which never rang truer, ‘when we go abroad to work, we are bodies going
abroad but our souls are still at home in India.’
The aching emptiness exists in the families’ lives too – the fathers’ absence is a constant presence in rooms that lay waiting for their occupants and in conversations that centre around them: ‘As soon as we talk about the father, the room lights up, all inhibitions go, the families love talking about them.
And for the times that they can’t be with each other in person, Waleed hopes his photographs will fill the emptiness in the homes and hearts of these families. ‘Handing over the portrait was a joyful moment – they were so enthusiastic and the photo would be passed around the family, each member drinking it in. It was always very emotional.’
Equally emotional responses awaited Waleed when he returned to Abu Dhabi and gifted the men their respective family portraits where their absence was substituted by their stunning black and white pictures.
‘They’d just go in a corner and gaze at it, beaming the whole time. One thing I tried to do with the families’ portraits was to include the house in the photos too because very likely they’ve built it with their blood, sweat and tears and the money they’ve earned in the UAE supports large families of five and six people back home.’
The final leg of the project saw the dads being photographed a second time, but this time they’re holding a picture of their family holding a picture of them – think the Droste effect (picture within picture) title sequence of the sitcom Modern Family but infinitely more poignant. It’s depicts the continuous love they share and a life that begins and ends with the dads – the family’s backbone, the pop stars.
It’s a sentiment no social media post or instant video calls can convey. ‘When a family has had a house for years and generations, there’s always that defining photo of the father, the head of the house, in black and white that’s framed in the middle of everything, providing a presence even in their absence, that photograph is timeless and in my head these are those classic photographs,’ Waleed explains.
‘I want these nine dads to know that their families back home have deep respect and appreciation for them and what they do is amazing. Both Nikith and I want to thank our fathers for their sacrifices to give us comfortable life and especially for being physically present with us throughout.