Khaja Sharfuddin
38 years, Stay-at-home dad, Sharjah Son: Mohammed Uzair, 2.8 years
‘Iwill not come to see you again’.
These words, that I spoke to my father in haste, on learning that he hadn’t kicked his smoking habit even as he lay in a Chennai hospital undergoing TB treatment, haunts me to this day for shortly thereafter, he breathed his last. The words ominously came true as it took me a week to reach home for I was in the midst of a visa change and didn’t have my passport. I missed seeing him one last time and this regret and guilt is something I live with every day.
Although my father was extremely strict when my two younger brothers and I were kids, his attitude underwent a sea change as we grew older. He was like a friend to us; we did so many things together –
It was with utmost happiness that I took on the role of looking after my son Uzair
travelling to places, cracking jokes, teasing each other. We were not financially well-off; but I am truly grateful for the way he provided us all that we needed. The immense love and affection he showered on us is what I would like to pass on to my son.
Incidentally, it was exactly a month after my dad died that my wife’s pregnancy was confirmed. It was the eighth year of our marriage and certain complications had resulted in repeated miscarriages until then. We couldn’t have been happier at this precious, God-send gift. However, within months of my wife’s pregnancy, I lost my job. My wife, an engineer, was not employed either.
She soon found a placement and I willingly opted to be the primary caregiver for our newborn. Our decision, however, was met with a myriad of reactions – from ridicule and shock to doubt in the viability of this role reversal arrangement. But we had experienced similar reactions earlier too when my wife completed her engineering degree after marriage. Coming from a conservative background, relatives questioned why she even needed to study. Eventually, the pressure on us to have a child forced her to abandon the idea of a career. Now, when the opportunity arrived, I wanted her to live her dream.
It was with utmost happiness that I took on the role of looking after my son. Cooking, cleaning, feeding him – I take joy in doing these and I am certain that it will go a long way in creating a strong emotional bond with him. I love how my days are now centred around Uzair, playing and caring for him and I take pride in the fact that he seems to want me more than his mother.